What is killing me....
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| Sat, 12-09-2006 - 1:40pm |
Is knowing he is with someone else. He told me he wanted to date other people and quickly found someone else. I actually believe he spent some time with this woman before he confessed anything to me. Mind you, we were not in a committed relationship anymore. After breaking up twice he still wanted to see me but have the chance to date other people. So really I guess he did nothing wrong in finding someone else.
I am assuming he is spending all his time with her just like he did with me in the beginning. He was wonderful at the start of our relationship until he started to feel pressure and then things went downhill. It absolutely KILLS me to think of him together with her and that he might be happy with her. Is it wrong of me to wish he not be happy? I am sitting here miserable and angry and sad and he is out having fun. I have no confirmation of the amount of time he spends with her, it's really just the torture I put myself through. How are men able to move on so quickly? How could his physical actions toward me just 3 weeks ago make me believe he has strong feelings for me and now he is with someone else? It has been almost 2 weeks without contact. I was out of the country so it was easy to not contact him. Now I am back and my mind is back on thinking about him every second. Ahhhh!

"Is it wrong of me to wish he not be happy?"
Absolutely not--you're human, you've been hurt so you deserve your anger, it's all part of the greiving process. What I suggest you do is channel that anger toward something healthy--go for a run, to the gym, a long walk even. Some form of exercise. That is what helps me--A good run.
And keep up the no contact no matter how hard it is. You'll feel much better knowing you held onto your dignity.
I'm trying to do the same. Guys consume too much time of our thoughts. Usually it's not worth it but we're only human and this is what happens.
Goodluck!
Dear Broken: One way to take your mind off of him is to go out with your girlfriends and have some fun. I know what you mean when you say that how can he quickly turn his feelings on and off. It's easy when there's someone else in the picture.
I understand totally and I have recently gone through the same thing as you and am still suffering. But, spending time with my friends and just keeping myself busy has kept my mind off of him.
You can't worry if he is happy or wishing he was unhappy. The key person in this relationship is you. Don't lose sight of the person you are and what actually makes YOU happy.
You're on your way to recovery. No contact with him is the way to go. Time heals all wounds.
Good luck.
GH