What to make of this break-up style

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2007
What to make of this break-up style
3
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 11:50pm

Thanks in advance to any responses. I've been quite confused for a month now.

My former interest and I dated all summer...a 3-month long thing that seemed to be growing. We were both giving off the signals, we both confessed to being gayishly in love and were very deep on so many levels. I go over this again and again to see if I missed signals, but even our mutual friends are astonished by this.

Out of the blue, we go from seeing each other randomly at multiple times during the day...all summer...to a very odd complete absence...this lasts four days...until she sends me a f***ing Myspace message to end it. Now, we are both +/- 30 years old, and we live less than 500 feet from one another. I was clearly astonished by this, floored, in a coma. And over the course of the next couple of weeks, I get in touch with her a couple of times to try and see if something happened (pregnant?something else?)...to get only the standard "Don't want to be in a serious relationship"...

A couple of days ago, I stop by to drop off a couple of things that I had of hers, and we chat for a few minutes. She says she started hanging out with a former guyfriend...a guy who completely messed her head up 8 months back...but they began hanging out again (cause they work together) as friends awhile back...and basically, since about a week after the breakup, are in a non-committal, non-dating relationship, ie friends with sex benefits.
Completely new info...never said this at the time of the break-up...

SO the question is...is this messed up? Or is this typical? I feel completely hit on the head with a rock...To go from absolutely great friends with (what I thought) was great communication, great sex, etc...to being severed like dead weight (she's been really agressive and juvenile in her distancing tactics...all via email and text, of course...no face-to-face)...

help me spit this girrl out...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 12:57am

Unfortunately age doesn't necessarily guarantee maturity. And the IMHO childish way she broke up with you is a reflection of her rather than anything wrong with you.

Is it typical..maybe. I have to admit I've done what your ex has done - completely blocked and disappeared on a guy. But then I was about 17 then so...moving on.

Anyways, regardless of the breakup style, your main focus is to let her hit whatever blunders she wants to. It has nothing to do with you. Work on moving on.

cheers

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 1:46pm
You are correct in thinking that her way of breaking up with you is childish and inmature.

Hugs,

 

Dbest

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 10-27-2007 - 4:15pm

Welcome to the board littleindian,


Evil.