I had a similar situation a few months ago (although we only dated for 4 months or so) where he wasn't calling me back so rather than leave a voicemail ending things, I sent an email.
I would send the email, and include something about what you plan to do with his stuff and when so he can be looking for it, so he at least has a heads up about it.
I agree, resist the temptation to drop by. YOU don't need to deal with having to see him. Inside what you want is him to beg not to leave and declare his undying love. It won't happen, and you will leave feeling WORSE.
Email him. It gives you a chance to say everything you need to say. Keep it as short as possible though, so if he just doesn't reply, you feel like you can walk away with grace...without lowering yourself to grovel.
I suggest going to the store right now and buying "It's called a breakup because it's broken." Read the section about when he asks for "space." It will give you the recognition and strength to do what he is too big of a wuss to do himself. It is a lot easier for a guy to feel like he doesn't officially end it...not just because he doesn't want to hurt you, but MORE because he himself doesn't have the balls to make a DECISION so if he feels like he does nothing... well, he has made a de facto decision. You DESERVE closure but he is too big of a jerk to give it to you. Be a real woman, even though he won't be a real man. And walk away, and DON'T contact him again. It SUCKS but even just a few weeks later, you will feel so glad you didn't have to deal with groveling and being rejected. I am in the middle of SO much pain and the ONLY thing I am grateful for, is I left with dignity and I got to call it quits and not grovel to his "space" games.
He still said he just needed "space" but I had made it clear that meant it was over as far as I was concerned. Turns out, it was a lot more over than he admitted, since he is dating someone else 6 weeks later. Just be glad you get the opportunity to be bigger than the games.
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Just imo-- but I have concluded "space" means...please break up with me so I don't have to do it.
"you're not sure that you love me, but you're not sure enough to let me go"
Each couple needs to define "space" for themselves--there's no universal definition.
Meaqui,
I actually had that thought yesterday and again today.
Thank you..Someone that sees this my way! I was posting as you were and just saw yours. Would you read my last post and advise me on that....thank you
How do I get to tell him when he wont pick up or return my calls...do I go look for him at home and tell him?
kathy
I had a similar situation a few months ago (although we only dated for 4 months or so) where he wasn't calling me back so rather than leave a voicemail ending things, I sent an email.
Thank you.
I would send the email, and include something about what you plan to do with his stuff and when so he can be looking for it, so he at least has a heads up about it.
I agree, resist the temptation to drop by. YOU don't need to deal with having to see him. Inside what you want is him to beg not to leave and declare his undying love. It won't happen, and you will leave feeling WORSE.
Email him. It gives you a chance to say everything you need to say. Keep it as short as possible though, so if he just doesn't reply, you feel like you can walk away with grace...without lowering yourself to grovel.
I suggest going to the store right now and buying "It's called a breakup because it's broken." Read the section about when he asks for "space." It will give you the recognition and strength to do what he is too big of a wuss to do himself. It is a lot easier for a guy to feel like he doesn't officially end it...not just because he doesn't want to hurt you, but MORE because he himself doesn't have the balls to make a DECISION so if he feels like he does nothing... well, he has made a de facto decision. You DESERVE closure but he is too big of a jerk to give it to you. Be a real woman, even though he won't be a real man. And walk away, and DON'T contact him again. It SUCKS but even just a few weeks later, you will feel so glad you didn't have to deal with groveling and being rejected. I am in the middle of SO much pain and the ONLY thing I am grateful for, is I left with dignity and I got to call it quits and not grovel to his "space" games.
He still said he just needed "space" but I had made it clear that meant it was over as far as I was concerned. Turns out, it was a lot more over than he admitted, since he is dating someone else 6 weeks later. Just be glad you get the opportunity to be bigger than the games.
Welcome to the board confusedat46,
Consider reading this:
Thanks for the help everyone. Im glad I have a place to go to talk to someone.
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