What really is Space?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
What really is Space?
32
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 6:26am

Whats your definition

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 11:50pm

Hi confusedat46 (really?)

What you're describing him doing isn't space, it's him being a butthead (juvenile more like it) and you letting him get away with it.

What you've described as "space" and what it means to you is what it really is. If you're not happy with what he's been doing and how he's been doing it, and you've alredy talked to him about it and he still does nothing, sister, it's time to let your boots do the walking in the other direction. Then he can have all the dang 'space' he wants. I hope you read my many posts on the subject.

Best of luck, time to woman-up and quit pantywaisting around.

Myspace CodesMyspace Text Generator, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsMyspace, Myspace CodesMyspace Codes, Myspace GraphicsMyspace Codes, Myspace Graphics

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 1:42am

Hey, confusedat46!


Feel good about yourself! The guy's a coward, and you don't need him as much as you think you do. Be mad, but type it all out, don't let him have the satisfaction of seeing you upset! That's what this website is for. Don't keep calling or texting....I know it's hard, but it gets easier, just give it time. Keep yourself busy, take time to think of what YOU like to do, and then go do it!


I am a 46 year old, whose ex just recently broke it off. It's gonna be okay. We girls are tough and we can handle anything that comes our way! Take care and keep in touch...........


shanoose

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 7:34am

Sandradee,


Thanks for the response. You wrote:


What you're describing him doing isn't space, it's him being a butthead (juvenile more like it) and you letting him get away with it.


So what your telling me is that this space thing is just an excuse for him to behave as he wishes.


Without getting into details I have a feeling someone from his past has resurfaced and he wants his cake and eat it too. He keeps me at bay while he sees what happens with her and then if it falters he has me to fall back on ...that sucks because that makes me 2nd choice.


Ive discussed this with him and he tells me Im wrong. Shes nothing more than a friend to him and Im being paranoid and jealous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 8:45am

Shanose,


Just wanted to let you know that Im taking your advice on the phone calls and texting. Im not being the one to do it anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 11:24am

confusedat46,


Proceed with caution! I know how hard this is for you. My ex was not happy in our relationship for over a year, he said, and that fact hurt me more than the breakup, I think, because we promised each other that we would be open and honest with each other. Yours is being honest with you in asking for space, and his idea of space is apparently different than yours. That you cannot change. You can't make someone else feel something they don't feel, even though it hurts you.


As for wanting to talk every day if you have feelings for each other, yeah, if you live together. My ex and I went on trips together, did a lot of fun things, and were best friends for awhile there. But we also did things separately. I enjoy the woods and the beach, he likes the city. When I went on trips with my friends,

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 11:36am

I think *why* he's doing what he's doing is less important than the fact that he's DOING it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 1:39pm

No detachment isnt easy to do, but its a slow process you do each and everyday. I did it for almost the entire last year my exh was living at home.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 1:47pm

Hmm...seems to me that you could accomplish the same thing by *ending* it and be further along in the healing process by the time he either gets his head out of his butt, or (more likely) not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 1:56pm

Because ending it says you have no faith in that person and that you cant give back and respect their needs and your own.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 2:17pm

I could see taking that position