What should i do after breakup of 4 year
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What should i do after breakup of 4 year
| Tue, 05-30-2006 - 6:15pm |
please refer to my other post, http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=19826.1&ctx=4096
After talking to her again, it seems that there will be no getting back together or a friendship for a while she said she needs a lot of space. Should i just give up and find someone new? I mean if we do get back together whats to say that all this wont happen again and the same pain comes back to us? I need some help guy and gals, God's helping me feel better, but i want to so i get back to the clubs and find a girl for me

Yes, please give up. But don't go running out to find someone new right away. Take some time to mourn this relationship and grieve the loss. Allow yourself to feel all your feelings rather than running out and finding someone new to get involved with. Take some time, a month at least, longer would be better, to reflect on the relationship. Think about what you might have done differently, what you would do if you had another chance. Consider seeing a therapist so you can work on some of your issues concerning dependency, so that when you do find someone, you won't submerge yourself within them. Develop a stronger self so you can be a better person in the next relationship.
If you just run out and find someone new, your opportunity for growth and self-discovery will be lost. As well, you might not really have healed and this could have negative effects on your next relatioship.
I ended a 4 year relationship almost 2 years ago, and to quote Don Henley: "You can't be with someone new, and you can't go back to him." We have come to an understanding, and have stayed in each other's life, just not daily...we were friends before we dated, and I hope I can always know him. But "the future is not ours to see.", sang Doris Day.
Good luck!
Only you can decide whether or not you would take her back if she wanted you back.
I recently was broken up with by my ex. We were together 4.5 years he is 22, I'm 21. He said he still loves me, but that right now he needs to focus on himself and doesn't want to be in a relationship. That was a month ago.
I haven't talked to him in 20 days.
He told me he would call me and we are supposed to keep in touch and that if he changes his mind and wants me back he will let me know.
I don't know if he will ever want me back, but as of right now I would only take him back if we worked on our problems (they were few) and if he convinced me that he wouldn't do that to me again.
And like you I have been wondering what if I start dating someone else and then he calls me and wants me back, what then??? I honestly don't know. It would depend on whether or not I still loved him enough to go back.
Hope this helped.
~Amber~
Note: Im the original poster
Ok so its been 5 days, and we are chatting a bit, getting buddy buddy, kind of what i wanted. Makes me feel a bit better, but is it bad that shes still in my life as a friend so soon after we broke up? or are we seeing where our feelings lie without even knowing it?
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