what was I thinking??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
what was I thinking??
4
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 10:55pm
There is this younger guy that I work with, he is quite a bit younger than I am and we have been having this "fling" for about seven months now.I eneded it yesterday. Told him it was time to move on and now I am heart broken.He agreed that it was time to move on and even said that he didnt see me as a lover anymore, just a good friend.I have helped him out in the past with some problems he was having and now I feel like he has used me these past couple of months even though I ended it.I realized that I had fallen in love with him and knew it couldnt be more that what it was, but that doesnt make any of this any easier.I am confused and hurt.I am feeling like a fool because I want to pick up the phone and call him. Should I just let this go?? He wants to remain friends but honestly with all the feelings I am having at the moment I dont think it is possible...any advise??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 7:51am

finethings4041...

Pianoguy is a little puzzled?

You ended everything...he agreed that the love aspect between you was OVER...and now you're trying to decide if "cutting the cord" was the right choice???

PLEASE....GET SERIOUS!

How can anybody feel confident about another human being when there's the undercurrent of 'I was used by him' present?

Skip the "let's just be friends" bit and move forward. Your co-worker/bf already has!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 8:16am
thanks for "giving it to me straight" pianoguy. I had a chance to sleep on it and you are right. I am feeling quite foolish at the moment.I really don't want to be with him anymore, actually I hadnt wanted to be for sometime I just didnt want to end it.I think the thing that threw me was when he said that he didnt think of me as a lover any more.But in all truth I hadnt felt that way about him for sometime either.I found myself missing him yesterday and I guess it was the thought that maybe he wasnt missing me.Gees that sounds so selfish and vain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 8:28am

finethings4041...

PG doesn't think there's a single man or woman who visits this (or another ivillage L&S board) that doesn't feel 'a little foolish' after a breakup? It's a major letdown!

We ask ourselves: "Why did I let him (or her) put me through this?" Unfortunately, there's no logical answer "after the event is over?"

But the good news is....you've learned something more about yourself!

And hopefully, what you learned, will send up a 'warning signal' in order to avoid setting yourself to experience a similar situation in the future?

You'll get past this.....Trust me!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 10:20pm
You are a very smart cookie PG thank you again for your honesty and "giving it to me straight"..I thought about what you said all day...he called tonight just to "chat" and see how my weekend was..I told him that right now I thought it was best that we only spoke at work and take it from there.I am feeling really good about being able to say that.Thanks again!