What would you do?
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| Mon, 03-05-2007 - 3:01pm |
I've been dating a guy for 7 months. Everything was fine until about a month ago. I got depressed which caused some problems, now he is depressed about his life. We don't have sex, he doesn't act attracted to me (flirtatious, etc), we barely even kiss anymore. All this says to me he's not interested anymore...but he says that his behavior doesn't have to do with me. He says that it is selfish to be with me because he can't make me happy right now.
I'm in love with him and have told him so, I think he feels slightly pressured about that. I'm not going to bring that up again. I told him I don't want him to be in love, he doesn't have to love me right now. But I asked him if he sees me in his future in just one month. (He is terrible at communicating his feelings so I have to dig them out by asking questions).
He says that he didn't know. So if you're dating a guy that doesn't really know if he wants you in his life in just one month, after dating him for 7 months--wouldn't you think that was break-up time? Or should I stick it out to see if his behavior is related to his depression? We broke up for 12 hours and hee was saddened--he keeps saying he's afraid to be alone...then whe I react to this he says that actually "it's me, he wants me." He misses me when I'm not around, blah blah...
When I felt depressed I made it clear to him that I wanted it to work out and it didn't effect my libido. One month is such a short time, why wait around for someone who can't see you just 4 weeks from now, or should I just read: Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars? Am I the one being selfish--having these horrible expectations that he actually verbally communicate with me? Should I be more sensitive to this depressed period of his?
I'm just afraid that if I stick with this I'll end up hurt, I was shocked that he couldn't visualize me in his life just 4 weeks from now.

Hi whitelyon1981,
While you two haven't been together that long and the 6 month mark is a time when most people evaluate and/or re-evaluate relationship.
Here's some reading material to consider:
I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, by Terrence Real