What is wrong with me......
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| Tue, 06-14-2005 - 3:40pm |
Hi everyone,
Well after putting on a brave face and giving advice to others that I can't seem to take myself, I had a meltdown last night. I was lying in bed and couldn't sleep and thoughts of my ex came into mind and all the tears I didn't want to shed anymore came down non-stop. I begged the universe to bring us together, for him to see the side of me he never got to see. There are so many things I know, but my heart just will not accept them. I know I am better off without him, I know he does not feel the same way I do, I know in due time the hurt will subside--the tears will stop and he will be a faint memory, I know I deserve better, I know I am strong and can get thru this....I know...
By why do I still find myself not accepting the fact---the bold, clear writings on the wall that he has moved on and do not want anything to do with me. I am not stupid--I am intelligent and confident....but why when it comes to him--I am nothing but pitiful and weak and I don't like it, yet I just can't get him out of my system.....
How much longer will I have to go thru this, it's been 4 months and yet here I am still in love with the bastard while he's out living life not even thinking of me. Knowing this, why do I waste time wondering about him....the heart works in mysterious ways and I wish I can just live a day without him haunting me.....
Thanks for letting me vent.

Baby Gender Predictor
Sometimes it's darkest before the dawn...by which I mean, some of the biggest pain I've felt in recovering from a breakup comes not too long before I reach acceptance and the end of the grieving process. So, it's possible that you're actually closer to letting go than you think...
How long were you together, and have you had contact during the 4 months? It's of course impossible to predict exactly how long recovery takes, but I've found that 1/2 the time you were in a relationship is pretty accurate for r'ships of up to 4 years or so. And unfortunately any contact seems to restart the clock.
Sheri