Whats better?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Whats better?
4
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 12:03am
Whats better to be with someone who you know who really, really, loves you, you know they will never leave, they enjoy talking to you, they know everything about you and want to OR to be with someone you are absolutely in love with. Lets say the one who loves you you are not in love with like that but the one you are in love with you may doubt how strong their feelings are given that you dont have that security and they dont love you as another can. What is better??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: myadvice
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 12:28am
your question is very confusing.
I guess you wanted to say Do you prefer to be with someone you love or with someone who loves you.
I would personally prefer to be with someone I love as long as I know he respects me and has some sort of affection for me since love is absent
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
In reply to: myadvice
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 12:35am
I'm sorry I am so confused by your message. I love him I do but I don't want to carry a burden he is not willing to share (especially since it is his burden). What do you think? Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
In reply to: myadvice
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 10:34am
I am sorry, my message was confusing. What I meant to ask is what is better: to be with someone who truly loves you or be with someone you are in love with. is it better to be loved or to love. Does that make better sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
In reply to: myadvice
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 1:33pm

<< What I meant to ask is what is better: to be with someone who truly loves you or be with someone you are in love with. is it better to be loved or to love. Does that make better sense?>>

Well, I think it's subjective ... it's what's better to YOU! I believe that we don't love to be loved; we love to love.

If you are with someone for the security they provide, it's time to look within for security. No one else can give you the security you can give yourself. And, as stated in your original post ... to the effect of "someone you know will never leave you" ... well, this is something no one can really know. I mean, can any of us really know that someone will NEVER leave you!?

So, for me, I would say it's better to be with someone you are in love with. However, if that love is not reciprocated, and you believe you are in love and the other person isn't in love with you, it's time to move on and find someone to love who can love you back the same way. Thus, in that case, none of the above.