what's next

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
what's next
4
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 9:54pm
my bf of 2 1/2 years hasn't been himself lately. We live together but recently he just sits on the couch playing video games all day. Three days ago I came home and he was gone. the first day I figured he was just mad at me. The second, I thought something had happened, then his brother called and said he needs time. He hasn't said anything to me since I last saw him. He won't answer his phone or respond to my emails. The hardest part is not knowing what happened. He left all of his stuff over here yet he won't talk to me. What's the next step? do I move on or give him time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:26pm

Hi nappychick and welcome to the board,


I'm not sure what to say. I'm sure you will get mixed opinions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:34am
He came back after 5 days, and he's pretty much acting like last week wasn't a big deal. I tried talking to him about it but he really didn't have much to say. This is not what I wanted. I had imagined an apology with a card and flowers for all the pain he's caused. There were some things about himself he says he changed last week, butI'm not sure I believe him, (he's addicted to a videogame, it changed him from a b+ student to barely passing). I just want him to acknowledge that last week really sucked and it was his fault, and I want him to promise never to do it again. Maybe this is asking to much. He's here in my home after spending the week at his parents and I don't think this enough for me anymore. I know this post is a while back on the boards but I would really appreciate some advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 10:05am

Hi nappychick..Sorry you are going through this.
My ex did the same thing, came home and he was gone, no explanation or anything, just left.
I know how bad it hurts. Mine didn't come back, I did talk to him on the phone last week, after two months. He was telling me how he found out 1 week ago some of the side effects of the med he was taking was depression, anxiety, short term memory loss and different things.
He stopped taking his meds when he found out and he feels like a different person, that he hasn't been himself for a long time. But he didn't apologize or anything. Mine was also addicted to video games(on pc) He got me into playing video games (which I still do) and I enjoy them sometimes, but for him I think it gave him an escape from dealing with things. Sometimes he didn't go out of the house from Friday night til Monday morning (to go to work) and 85% of that time he was in game. He never called me names

But you know what? Even if he would have apologized and asked to get back together, I wouldn't have. Because I have come to the realization that I deserve so much better. And so do you! If he refuses to talk about it, you don't need him. You can't make him do anything, or change him. The only person you can control and change is yourself and your actions. Decide what you want and need and if he can't give it to you, let him go. Respect and love yourself first. People treat us how WE allow them to treat us.

These boards have helped me tremendously, I am so glad I found them, there is some good advice out there. Do what you need to do for yourself and make yourself happy. You DO NOT deserve to be called names and such! We can get through this and be a better person.

S

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 1:11pm

Hi nappychick,


I'm glad sassisizz shared her story as I too think