What's next?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 01-22-2007 - 4:29pm |
Hi everyone. I hope someone can help me figure out what is going on in my life because I don't have a clue what to do...
I was dating a guy for 10 months, he's 25 and I'm 22. He's a college graduate and I will be graduating in May. Everything was going very well, my family liked him, I was close to his family and well you get the picture.
One issue that always came up about our "future" was that I have plans on going to graduate school. I'm not sure if I'm going to stay in the area or not but we had agreed that when the time came we would talk about it and I would definitely take him into consideration if things were going well between us.
This past month he went on vacation to see his dad and family, whom he had not seen in a few years. He was gone for 2 and 1/2 weeks. It was a south american country therefore communication was difficult but we would talk at least every other day. Once again everything was fine. While he was away I kept him updated about my law school/grad school process and I knew that when he got back we definitely needed to talk about our future.
The last few days before he came back, he started acting a bit strange, no calls and no emails. The day he came back he called to say he was back in town and that he was going to sleep. The following day we were supposed to see each other but he tried to cancel, to which my response was No. I asked if everything was ok and he said we needed to talk, so we ended up meeting that night to talk. That night he told me that I was the perfect gf and he appreciated everything but at the moment he was confused about many things and didn't know if he was keeping me around for the right reasons. I asked him what was wrong and he said he just had a lot of things to think about. That was it.
Its been a little over 1 week since this happened and he hasn't gone out with his friends and has been keeping to himself for the most part. He's been to my house to help out w/my computer which he promised to do before he left, and we had a good/civil conversation that day about various things. But he still says that he feels his decision was the right one.
My question is...what can I do? I feel like something is missing, like I still need an answer? I'm very confused and wonder if he was just afraid of the future and me possibly leaving him later on? Please help :(

Miami_d,
I'm glad you wrote. Hopefully some of us can provide you with some helpful ideas. From what you have written, it sounds like he has unresolved issues in his head - whatever they may be. It probably doesn't have much to do with what a good girlfriend or person you are since he said he thought you were. My advice - give him some time, don't contact him and then after a while, if you still feel you need answers, call him and ask. Maybe he just needs some space right now. He can't talk to you about it now because he hasn't resolved it in his head yet and doesn't want to be convinced one way or another by others. Does that make sense? Whatever the reason, the unfortunate (or fortunate) fact for you is that he's made the decision to not be with you. There's not much you can do there is there?
Sorry about that. Are you willing to take some time off and start dating others?