What's really goin on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
What's really goin on?
1
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 4:13pm
We had been together 10 months. I am 24 with 2 other serious relationships behind me and he is 23 with no other relationships. It has definately been the best relationship I have ever had. We are great together. After about 4 months he began pulling away some saying he didn't want things to get so serious. Nothing changed though. It was everything I could ask for in a relationship and it felt amazing. About a month ago he said he was falling in love with me and he had just been scared but he was going give in and see what happens with us. Then 2 weeks ago he says he doesn't love me and it isn't working out. I was pretty dumb founded not even knowing what he was talking about. I think it has a lot to do with him wondering what else is out there being so inexperienced. So of course what else could I do but let him see for himself that all relationships aren't as beautiful as ours and maybe he needed to be hurt by someone in order to appreciate me. He still called/texted and IMed me everyday. I still saw him and then we started sleeping together again (I am the only girl he has ever been with). I decided this was too hard for me because I wanted more so I cut off contact a week ago saying we couldn't be "friends" anymore. I missed him terribly and had a weak moment last night that ended with me calling him. He said he still wanted to talk to me but we shouldn't see each other because he is "afraid we will get back together". What does that mean? If you don't want to be with someone you wouldn't be, why would you be "afraid"? Why is he fighting to not be with me? If two people have such a good thing and have to fight the urge to be together, why not just be together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 6:42pm
Not all people are able to face their fears and vulnerablities. Sorry you have to go through this. Next time you have a weak moment, pick a pen and paper instead of the phone and write him an UNSENT letter about what you are feeling. My best to you.


Carrie