Whats wrong with me??
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Whats wrong with me??
| Thu, 08-26-2004 - 6:47pm |
Me and my boyfriend have been brok up for 2 months...and I've spent all summer trying to get him back. It seemed like it was working, until last weekend. I still cant get over him, and im totally obsessed with him and getting him back, although everyone tells me he isnt worth it and I can do so much better. I dont know why i cant get over him? Anyone have any advice on how to fix things or how to get over it?

As much as it hurts, you can't make things better with a person that doesn't want to be in a relationship, period.
As for healing, you can take steps to help the process. First, you realize you are obsessing so how take the time to figure out why....see if any of these ring true for you - you are afraid of being alone? You feel if he doesn't want to be with you then something must be wrong with you, so getting him back is important to 'prove' you are 'good', 'worthy' great or whatever? You hold on to him because you think no one else will want you? Or that you will never love again?
Finding your self-worth and boosting your self-esteem right now is very important. Remember YOU are NOT less than because of his actions, choices, behavior or decisions, including the one that ended the relationship.
Healing ideas - 1) start journal writing daily, vent on paper, cry, if need be for what you feel you lost, 2) grieve for what could have been, for what might have been, for what you hoped would have been, 3) make a list of things you enjoy and start doing them, this can include going out with friends, taking a class in something you've always wanted to learn more about, doing volunteer work even 4) take care of you, treat yourself kindly, you will have good days and bad days - get a massage, take yoga, take a bubble bath, read a good book (see list below), go for a walk, buy yourself flower, get a manicure/pedicure.
Reading material to consider:
Don’t Call that Man – The Survival Guide to Letting Go – Rhonda Finding
Rebuilding When a Relationship Ends, Bruce Fisher
Olive Juice...and Other Thoughts on Love, Heartbreak and Moving Forward by Eric Champnella
I Used to Miss Him...But My Aim is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide by Alison James
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse
Self Matters, Phil McGraw
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
My best to you on your healing path.
Carrie
Even if you get him back (an ego boost in that moment) how long would you be happy? If you weren't happy from the beginning, but stayed anyway, you need to get to the bottom of that issue.
Carrie
Good luck, friend. May we all have hope and men with bodies like Olympic swimmers in our future.