When to committ

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
When to committ
2
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 2:28pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 yrs with a few breakups here and there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 4:16pm

Welcome to the board confussed01,


Is the other guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 9:06pm

I guess it's a moot point to mention you two have gone at it a bit backwards, huh? This monotony is where a lot of long-term relationships find themselves after a period of time. Many people just want things to "be better" without either wanting to or knowing how to fix the issues.

My best suggestion: Get yourself a life coach or a course in order to teach you how to give your relationship a kick-start.

1. You're thinking about this other guy because you're so disillusioned about your own. If you were to think the exact same thoughts about your boyfriend, then you'd be in a much different place with him. That's not a guess, that's a fact.

2. Your boyfriend seems to be the kind of guy who isn't going to step up to the plate unless he absolutely has to. And if you're doing all the work of taking care of your child, and all he does is play (clubbing, hanging out with his friends, never takng you out), then really, would you change things if life were as easy for you as they are for him? Probably not. The way to get him looking in the direction of you and your little family is to make it to where it's more FUN to be with you and your son than it is to hang out with his buddies.

Unless you're able to talk about your concerns with your boyfriend, and honestly, do a little outside-the-box thinking, I sincerely doubt you'll be able to start something new with someone else. People are generally all the same, they think if they start over fresh, it'll be better. Problem is, they still bring their bad relationship habits into any new one, and the cycle starts all over again. Only now you're simply older.

Good luck,

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