When curiousity gets the best of us...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
When curiousity gets the best of us...
1
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 8:09pm
So...it's been a year since my ex and I have broekn up and stopped talking...WHo knows why I called. It could be it's the holidays, it could be I haven't met anyone that made me feel the way I felt about him, or that anyone I do meet just makes me want him more.
Either way, I called. And got my worst fear. A girl answered. I asked for J, and she said he's in Virginia this week, and I said Ok thanks, bye. She didnt ask who I was. Just a "you're welcome, bye." Which then lead to more questions...was that a g/f, a friend watching his dog while he was away, a relative staying for the holidays. Who? But the questions should be Who cares?
So, I called on my landline, (which, thank god, is in my roommates name), so my anonymity was spared. I just don't know why I called, and why6 I wasn't too surprised that a girl answered, and why why why did I do something that every hair on my body was screaming at me not to do.
Ive come so far to stop thinking with my heart. Why did I stop now???
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 1:22am

Don't beat yourself up over this, sweetie...

You made a mistake...I've done the same thing when it comes to my ex. I used to try and contact him to see what he was up to, how he was doing, etc--and a part of me really was curious...but deep down, I think I was just hoping that he had changed his mind about me. I thought contacting him might lead to us getting back together, that it would magically solve all of our problems. I wanted to contact him to let him know that I still existed, that I thought of and missed him, etc. Sometimes I still wonder if contacting him could make a difference somehow...

It's been over six months since we broke up, but only about one month since we've stopped having any contact. Sometimes I still get urges to send him a text, an IM, etc...but I can't bring myself to do it. I absolutely refuse to contact him again. I've been let down far too many times while trying to get ahold of him--he usually just ignored me. And I don't want to hear about his life without me, his new girlfriend, etc. It hurts too much...and what I don't know can't hurt me, right?

I'm sorry that you've been setback in your healing process. You said that it's been over a year since you guys broke up/have spoken...don't take offense to this, but have you ever considered getting some professional help--maybe some therapy? Maybe all you need is that extra push to steer you in the right direction, so you can really continue to move on with your life.

Like I said, don't feel too bad about this. You made a mistake and hopefully you learned your lesson from it. Try to stay strong and take positive steps forward...take care of yourself! <3 Good luck!