When do you remove contact info?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
When do you remove contact info?
3
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 2:03pm

It's day three since the break up and NC. I've been doing surprisingly well, I'm proud of myself. I've been leaving my phone turned off so I dont check it every five minutes to see if he's called, etc. I also find myself being much more ANGRY than sad or depressed. I get weepy once in awhile, but really I'm just totally pissed that he would do everything he did. I can't believe someone could be THAT selfish. I don't even want him to have the pleasure of knowing ANYTHING about how I'm doing. I've stopped talking to a lot of our mutual friends at the moment, because I can't stand the thought of him getting the satisfaction of hearing anything about me. The thought of him thinking about me creeps me out right now. LOL.


My question though, is what do I do with all this stuff? The pictures and things that scream HIM to me. Where do I put it? Do I keep ANYTHING tucked away? Do I get rid of it all? I've removed his pictures from my planner, etc., but I just dont know yet what I want to do with it all. I'm the type of person who never throws away ANYTHING, ever. But at the same time a very real part of me wants this all boxed up and away and out of my life. I just can't drop it in the trash just yet. LOL.


And when do you take their name off your IM and cell?


I really want everything linking me to him GONE, but at the same time it seems so final and absolute. Once I remove his number from my cell, I know I'll NEVER see that name come up on my caller ID again... KWIM?


I dont feel the need to rush anything yet, but I wonder how you all handle this part of the breakup. When you get to the point where you're able to quietly admit to yourself it IS better to be done and move on, but you cant quite toss everything into the trash can just yet...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 2:13pm

I don't throw stuff away, I box it up and put it in a closet as soon after the breakup as I can (right away is really best so you don't have the visual reminders).

How soon I take him out of my phone, etc. really depends on the guy and the specifics of the particular breakup. If he behaved badly, it's easier to delete him from my life right away. If it was on reasonably friendly terms though, then it's harder, but it's especially important, I think, to take him off your IM list right away (assuming you use it and see it all the time--again, you're trying to avoid the visual reminder).

And never is a long time. I "never" thought I'd be friends with a certain ex, but 10 years later, we're friends and have been for quite a few years now (but it took about 3-4 years to get to that point). So try not to think in terms of "never"--just not for NOW. You can always put him back in your phone at some point if you really want to.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 9:41pm
Delete the number ASAP this way you are not tempted to call, text etc. I blocked my ex on IM so he can't see me online and I don't see him. I do blog and he knows this so if he wants to know what I am up to he can see it there. I also removed him from my facebook account that night since when I logged in I saw a picture of him and his new girlfriend. He is just lucky I didn't log in and see that before he got the guts to tell me about her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:44pm

While I've never been with anyone long enough/seriously enough to have mementos (pictures, notes, cards, gifts, etc....wow, that's kind of sad...) but a guy I went out with last summer (nothing serious) kind of blew me off and it was up to me to ask if I was going to see him again, and when he said "I'm kind of getting serious with someone else" (funny because his ad is STILL up on match.com...), right at that moment I deleted him from my cell, e-mail and IM. I deleted all of the old e-mails we had exchanged too, and it was really easy. However, it's not that easy for the other ones. I don't think that there is a timeframe for things like this, only you can know when it's time and you're ready to do it. There's no rush, but at the same time, if you find yourself re-reading old e-mails, etc., then I'd say it's time to cut the cord.

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