When he cheats...any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2011
When he cheats...any advice?
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 8:30pm
I've been with a man for 7months and everything was good (so I thought) we had alittle issue before in our relationship about how he loves his ex and that he wants to be with her. I gave him some time so he could think who he really wants to be with so he told me (a lie) saying he told her he moved on from her and he wanted me after that our relationship was good until I was seeing something on his phone and she texts him saying "why you haven't text me today" . I confronted him and he admit that he was cheating with both of us and acted like he didn't care about the situation because she didn't know about me. 2 days later he text me and said don't call her cell of text her . At that point I knew he didn't care how I felt and lied about loving me and wanting to be committe . I tell myself everyday to move on but it's hard because I love him around. ..any advice upon what I should do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 4:09pm


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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 9:05pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 12:16am

First of all, 7 months is barely into a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 9:09am

If you had been married for 20 years then maybe this situation would have a better resolution. But you've only been together seven months, this is a time when you're learning about one another - Including the very important point of whether or not you are right for one another. So when someone cheats on you during this time period, the answer is really obvious. With only seven months invested, you move on before you get hurt even more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 4:39pm
This is what I think about cheating:
If it's happening while the couple is dating, the relationship is NOT worth saving. There's nothing to be saved except a lot of lies. It typically does not get better.

If it's happening when the couple is married, then they need to decide if the life they've created together is worth salvaging, especially if there are children involved. Given a chance, the relationship may improve.

You were dating, and the clincher is he completely does not care about yoru feelings on this, only that you do not "out" him to the other, the one whose feelings he does seem to care about. Do right for yourself and walk away from this.

Good luck,

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