when will I stop obsessing over him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
when will I stop obsessing over him?
1
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:09pm

My boyfriend and I were together for almost a year. We talked/chatted everyday, sometimes for hours, and then saw each other at least once a week when we could. We never had sex, so I guess that puts me in a different situation, but we were very close. We had a very special relationship, he respected me, but always kept me at an emotional distance. Finally, it was too much, and we broke up. The problem is, for the last week, I still log online to see if he's on, to see if he's been on, and I wonder what he's doing and who he's with...and I feel just sick. I feel stuck to the computer and my telephone wanting him to either sign on and say hello or call me. I miss him, but I know he's not coming back and I know it's for the best. I also know that chatting with him a little everyday, doing the whole, "lets be friends" thing isn't helping either. We chatted last night and he told me about how he's going out of town to visit another girl on Friday, then went on to tell me about how he was mad because some guy was talking to another girl he was interested in...I mean, just totally insensitive. To me, it feels like he's trying to send a clear message and I just need to cut off all communication instead of dragging it out and making it harder on myself.

Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:08pm
Ew!! I would flip out if my ex were to talk to me about another girl. Of course, my ex and I have had NC for almost two months now and I still obsess about him daily. Not in the same ways I did before but I have "conversations" with him like, what I would say if he called etc. I don't know how long the obsessing lasts but I do know its draining. I'm talking to another guy now but finding it hard to have any real emotion about him because I'm still thinking about my ex even when talking to him. I had to take my ex off my IM list because it sickened me to see him online (he was NEVER visible when we were together but now suddenly, he was always visible and signed out or went invisible immediately when I signed in. I always imagined what female he was IM'ing...ugh!!). In a past relationship that I had problems getting over, we continued to talk on occasion but only because he would call me. Of course, he would only talk about himself and what was going on in his daily life. I think that was harder for me--hearing from him, because I was always velcroed to my cell phone wondering if "today" he was going to call. Eventually....5 months later, I was able to say good bye and to tell him to stop calling me. God, I hope it doesn't take that long this time for me to get over this one!