When you both still care for each other

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
When you both still care for each other
6
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:39pm

My boyfriend just broke up with me last night, and I think I'm going to have a tough time getting past it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:07pm
If I was you, I would tell him that you want to try and work it out and take the obstacles as they come.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:33pm

Welcome to the board kirbee25,


No matter the reason for the break up, you still have to process your grief in order to heal and move forward.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 7:27am

Actually, breaking up now because you already know you'll be breaking up in the future is somewhat of a cop out, hope you don't that the wrong way. Basically, what I'm saying is that either way, his mind is definitely on breaking up and NOT on ways to work through it.

Most of my friends from college are male, and they each went through the same thing you are experencing, but they didn't break up with their girlfriends over it, except for one, they all worked through it. The one who didn't, wasn't truly invested in the relationship. Read that one again, even though it hurts. So there are definitely ways to do it if a person *wants* to.

Your boyfriend simply doesn't want to put in the effort, and that should tell you everything you need to know. He may be a terrific guy, and it's wonderful you have good memories of your time spent togehter. Thank the universe for that and let him go easily, because that is a blessing. Still though, if he's willing to let you go, then you do need to believe you are better off.

Good luck and welcome to the board,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 10:35am

Thanks, Sandra, for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 1:27pm

Plans are just plans, things that haven't happened yet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 12:48am

I've been following a lot of the advice recommended in the Resources and Expert Advice boards, and it has actually helped so much. Right now I only let myself obssess about it for 15 minutes twice a day, and tonight I wrote a letter as recommended, and it made me feel like I'll actually get through this and be myself again.