where do I start over again
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| Sat, 05-14-2005 - 5:03pm |
Hi every-one, I have been reading message's posted here for the last 2 weeks. I find it helps me a lot in reading the advise and feedback from others. I am going through a difficult time right now as well. I ended an 8 year relationship with a man that I thought I would be with for the rest of my life. We are both in our mid 40's, and live in a small town, of about 10,000. This man had not treated me well,(I will call him CR) it was a steady roller-coaster ride of emotions for me and we had separated temporarily before but never longer than 3 weeks at a time. We would make up and break up more than a couple of highschooler's.
I ended things with CR 5 weeks ago. I am thinking about him 24/7.I find it very hard to accept that he can just let me go so easily. Today he called me after 3 weeks of no calls or no contact, and out of the blue asks me if I told a woman, (that I golfed with a year ago) that I only stay with him because some day he will be wealthy!!!! This is so insane !! I would not have, and told him that if he REALLY thought about this and asked himself if that even sounds like somehing I would say, he would know the answer. I think he is making this whole thing up?? When I asked and sort of demand he tell me who this woman is, he wouldn't. Is it possible that he is making up a lie like this because he knows the reason the relationship ended was because he screwed up???
I know this guy pretty good and he knows better than to think that is true
what do you think???
BB
Edited 5/14/2005 7:09 pm ET ET by bunnyb2005
Edited 5/14/2005 7:16 pm ET ET by bunnyb2005

Good luck.
I agree with heidi. I think it is very possible that he just wanted an excuse to call you.
You said: "I am thinking about him 24/7.I find it very hard to accept that he can just let me go so easily."
I honestly don't think that he has let you go that easily. If he had, he wouldn't have called you (no matter what the underlying reason for the call is). When a relationship ends, it's OVER and there would be no point in him calling to ask you that question because if you're no longer together there would be no reason for him to need that answer.
And in response to the "thinking about him 24/7"...I think that's just part of being a woman. Men are able (for whatever reason) to distract themselves from tough issues by carrying on with their normal business, while women just can't do that.
I'm very sorry for your loss, and sorry that you emotions had to be stirred up by such an erroneous phone call. Take care.
Thanks for your replies.
After that phone call, and his crazed accusations, for some strange reason I have been sleeping better. Staying more focused at work, and actually drumming my fingers and humming along to a song on my way to work today. I have had 3 good days in a row now.
Then tonight I am missing him like crazy.....????????
How can I miss some-one that was only half there in the end anyway?? Does a person miss even abusive behaviour??? Hum there's one for the therapist...they lap that crap right up.
I think the reason I felt so up the last couple of days has something to do with him making a fool out of himself on the phone. I took some kind of twisted pleasure in the fact that Yes, even a MAN can fall apart and become irrational....
.... I think it's very possible that it's just hitting him now, because I went crawling back several times before but this time is different. I am staying put, I am not budging, I am standing up for myself, This is all new and strange to this Guy. I am sure he is scratching his head or something else wondering when she's coming back..and how come my phone call didn't get a rise out of her??? Before she would have stormed over here and told me off, set me straight and ended up in bed with me.....Yes the old me would have....I think in time I am going to like the new me much better :)
BB