Where do we go from here?!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Where do we go from here?!!
4
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 6:36am
This is really hard to write. I have been married for 10 years with 3 lovely boisterous boys! I could see very early on that this was not a match made in heaven. We have very different interests and the 5 year age gap seems like 20 years sometimes. At 36 I want a life still. Since the 7 year itch we have had many problems. The man I married changed very early on. His get up and go, got up went! We take the kids to a funfair and he won't go on any of the rides. " You know I don't like them". We went to Thorpe Park and Chessington when we were courting!! I feel as though I was sold something under false pretences. When I opened the box it wasn't the same as the description on the box! I'm rambling I know. It feels good to talk, as you can't talk so openly to friends and family. He is a good man. Works hard and helps in the house too! I just don't fancy him anymore. The atmosphere at home is not good for the kids i know. I want the boys to have a fun life not this constant bickering. I have 3 football mad boys and I took them to see Man.Utd play."You know I don't like football" he said! I hate it too, but there are many things you do for your kids because they like it! The last straw was 2 weeks ago my son was sent to hospital for tests.It was the 3rd time I had been to the hospital with one of the kids in a year. It was too much, I asked my husband to come and join us. 2 hours later I phoned to see where he was, at his Christmas party! Priorities!" I hate needles" he said I couldn't come! I needed support and didn't get it again.
I believe we are at the end of the line now. He doesn't see it that way! It will be a struggle I know. Where do I go from here? I want out but don't know how.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 1:47pm

Angie Baby,

Maybe you were sold a bill of good under false pretenses. You probably wouldn't have liked the looks of it if you knew the truth. Back in your courting days, you weren't looking realistically at your differences in priorities and interests. And, let's face it, we ALL keep our eyes closed. They don't say, "love is blind" for nothing.

That being said, it's time for you to give an ultimatum. If you really want to save this marriage (and I think you still do or you wouldn't be venting), get some couple counseling. You both need to find out about hubby's passive/aggresive behavior and whatever you're doing wrong in this relationship. You weren't very revealing about yourself, but I'm sure there is someway you imbue the troubles you are having.

Mimiche

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 3:20pm
Welcome to the board.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 8:15pm
Thanks for your help.Not sure what will happen but I can't see him leaving. We don't have family locally to help out. I don't work at present either. the financial side of things is scary!
Have a happy New Year!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 4:05pm
I know it's scary but you'll make it....you'll be ok....where there's a will there's a way!!
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