where's the line?
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where's the line?
| Tue, 10-30-2007 - 1:25am |
Hi friends, I'm just three weeks out of a breakup after a long, intense year and a half... I'm still definitely grieving and have a long way to go.
I've gone out with friends a couple of times since the breakup, and did some harmless flirting with a few men.

Hey, I think you're doing just fine! I've been through three major break ups ( and may be currently going through another). Five years ago, when I broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years, I did the exact same thing that you are doing now. Only thing is, when the poor guy would call, I would just screen. It's commendable that you were mature enough to tell it to the guy straight. I don't know if it's the same for you, but I know when I was going through it, I used to flirt with all the guys to make myself feel desirable and loved. In the end though, it really doesn't work.
I think it's completely up to you if and when you date or "hook up" or whatever, but I just want to give you the heads up that until you begin to get past the relationship and start to mend the insecurities, you only end up feeling more empty inside. At least I did. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to take advantage of this time you have been given to get to know yourself better, do things you love to do... take this time for you... take that cooking class you always wanted to take, start going to the gym, take up a dance class, whatever.
You'll know when you're ready to move on and when you do move on, you will be able to bring so much more of yourself into your next relationship. (Not to say that you can't flirt or hookup at all, it is your own personal prerogative and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, only you) Try to look at this time as exciting and full of possibility; you don't need a man to be happy anyway - you're a strong, beautiful woman with a wide open future. Carpe diem! Good luck. :)
Hi kmarie206 -
::Am I allowed to flirt if I don't
hi there. i am very sorry about your break-up. i am at 6 weeks tonight, and i still think about my ex, still crying here and there, but i am doing better.
i totally understand your concern. i have been in contac with a couple of guys through the internet, and i feel like i am not ready, and that i am kind of "using" the guys for practice, to help me get out and go on a date and move forward. i feel a little guilty, but i also figure that i never know. maybe i really will meet someone, or meet a new friend. we have to start somewhere, right? i feel like i am cheating on my heart some, cause i still have feelings for me ex. i still wish he could solve his issues and come back, but he is not gonna. so i need to move on. flirting, going on a couple dates, there is no harm, it will help us. it may also make us feel sad, that we have to start over again, that we wish we did not have to do it, but i think it will also help with the grieving process and moving forward. i think if you just go with your gut, do what you feel comfortable with, you will be ok. but don't be afriad to flirt some just to help yourself feel better and help with getting over your break-up. we have to move on as much as we don't want to. dating and flirting is moving on.