Who gets the ring??
Find a Conversation
Who gets the ring??
| Fri, 02-18-2005 - 12:34pm |
So, the love of life decides that we arent meant to be together 6 months before our wedding. I want to keep the engagement ring. Why should he have it? Who get's it. Is it considered legally a "gift" or does it legally belong to the meanest man on earth?

Pages
I'm sorry for what happened! Traditional etiquette holds that whoever did NOT break the engagement off is entitled to the ring, so since he broke it off, you would keep the ring (if you did, you'd return it).
However, some states have adopted a different view, legally. You might want to do a search on Google regarding the view taken in your state.
Has he asked for it back, is that why you ask?
Sheri
flyersgirl78...
Unless your engagement ring was a precious family heirloom, Pianoguy thinks you should keep it!
I have 2 reminders of marriages that didn't work out (aka my wedding rings) and it makes me uncomfortable just looking at them.
Really, *most* states do? I was under the impression it was more of a minority view. If it's true, that's *terrible*...those judges really need to read Emily Post!!!
Sheri
Very sorry to hear of your circumstances.
Just so you know, this is a very down-to-earth perspective with a focus on ancient historal custom - Based on history, I think it's contractual in that the ring is offered to you as a symbol, not of love like we romantically convince ourselves today, but as his half of an agreement that if you marry him he will have the means to shelter, clothe, and feed you. Your half of the agreement is to marry him, be monogamous, and produce heirs. Keep in mind I'm a strong feminist and this is an historical and non-emotional observation of customs (I'm a history nerd) but the base concept is there. It was hurtful and horrible for him to call off the wedding but he essntially made the contract null and void by doing that, neither party is required to uphold their half. Had you married him, I would say 100% you get the ring since you'd fulfilled your half of the contract. (because I'm not saying women are obligated to have children) But be warned this contractual approach might be the type of perspective the Law will take in your state.
Good luck and keep your chin up... somewhere is a man who will give you a ring and be happy you're still wearing it while holding his hand 50 years later. :)
Hi judimay...
First...Pianoguy is very sorry to hear that your wedding plans didn't work out.
Pages