Who gets the ring??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Who gets the ring??
17
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 12:34pm
So, the love of life decides that we arent meant to be together 6 months before our wedding. I want to keep the engagement ring. Why should he have it? Who get's it. Is it considered legally a "gift" or does it legally belong to the meanest man on earth?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 9:53pm
You and I are in the same boat. My ex-fiancee broke off our engagement and relationship 7 months before our wedding. The night we broke up stupid me gave back the ring. His initial reaction was "You took it off." At THAT moment, I wanted to take it right back but in all honesty I didn't think this "break up," would last. Little did I know he would meet someone else the next weekend and one week after that she would tell him she loved him. I went back to his apartment and took the ring back but was talked into returning it by my family, so I did. But I returned to the aprtment once again to drop off/pick up stuff and when I checked the box it was gone....so he either sold it or maybe he gave it to his new "love." I am SO angry. Let me ask you a question.... Did you have to cancel ALL the wedding arrangements? I DID! What are you doing with your dress?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 8:05pm
I did have to cancel all of my wedding plans. I got everything back except for the dj deposit and my dress money, so far. The dj said that if he rebooks the date he will refund my deposit. I plan to keep my dress...it's gorgeous and I love it! I still want to wear it for my wedding some day. The way i see it, I bought it because I loved it, not because of him. If I had picked out a dress that he would've wanted me to wear I'm sure it wouldn't have been the one I picked. Not that he wouldn't have loved it, I just know that it wouldn't have been his choice. I have seen people selling their dresses on ebay though...if that interests you. Did you already have it altered? I didn't get that far with mine, so I know that I can still do that and wear it one day...someday...(sigh)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:59am
I cancelled everything and lost all the deposits but it was mostly his money so I don’t care. The band we hired told me he will keep the deposit on file under my name and I can use it for myself whenever I want. See, I LOVED my dress too but I’m not so sure I want to keep it. I’m afraid it will remind me too much of this pain. I didn’t get mine altered yet either. As a matter of fact it hasn’t come into the salon yet. I contacted them and told them the situation but they said there was nothing they could do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 9:32pm

I would say that if you truly don't feel like you'll ever want to wear that dress then you should find a way to get as much as you can out of it. I don't blame you for feeling pain with it. I've had mine for several months and I don't know why, but it doesn't cause me pain to think about it. I can't wait to get married and to wear it...because i feel like such a princess in it! But not everyone feels the same way about things. I'd get what you can get out of it and deal with the losses of it.

Regarding the deposits...that was mostly my money...he only chipped in a small portion of it. It didn't bother me that much though because I am only out about 400 bucks besides the grand for the dress/veil/etc...and he's out 2 1/2 grand for the ring he has now collecting dust. so it doesn't bother me that much....my losses aren't nearly that big compared to his, and I can wear my dress again...he can't ever use that ring again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 12:09am

My mother actually bought my dress...it was one of the things she has done for all my sisters when they got married. I'll give her the money though. I tried on sooooo many but the dress I picked was defintely the ONE. I don't know maybe I'll feel differently in a few months.

You don't think your ex will try to use the same ring on someone else? My ex paid almost 18k for my ring and I don't see him selling it. So if he ends up marrying this girl (which I think he will even though they just met) she's basically going to get a hand me down, but he'll have to get the "balls" off so she doesn't know, LOL!

I'm so pi$$ed off that he jumped into another relationship so quickly after being with me for 7 years. I am trying so hard not to think about him but eventually I do and now I get to think about him with another girl and it's burning me up inside!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:19am

Just like my other post to you...I know exactly what you're going through. Are you my long lost sister? Our lives seem sooo parallel right now. I know he didn't give her my ring because I flat out asked. I do think he has more class than that...I hope.

Maybe you will feel different about the dress later on. Again, I'm not sure why that doesn't bother me, but it doesn't. I am thrilled to wear it someday and it doesn't hurt that it's not for him. I wish I could tell you why I feel that way, but i have no idea.

We'll both get through this with time...i promise. :) try to keep your chin up and write anytime...

my email is jenttifer@hotmail.com if you ever feel like writing to me there.

~jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 1:17am
Legally you should return the ring...but personally, I think if you invested a lot of money in him then vice versa you should keep it as compenstaion.

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