Who hates Holidays!?! I DO I DO!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Who hates Holidays!?! I DO I DO!!!
3
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:48am

Well maybe not HATE them....but find them really really difficult?

This is my first without him and its the first time I've seen most of my family since we broke up. Last time I saw them they were congratulating us on our engagement and I was talking to them about a color scheme for the wedding and this time they are hugging me a minute longer and asking me "how are you?"
My cousin is getting married so his fiance is there talking about their plans. All the significant others are around, happy. I'm so jealous. It bothered me slightly when I wasn't with anyone, being alone on the holidays, but this time it was worse.

How was everyone else's Easter?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:50am

i totally agree. i felt so alone, even though i was surrounded by my friends and family because he wasn't with me. i knew he was with the new girl even though our breakup has only been 3 wks ago.

i felt hollow emotionally, that i was doing the motions but not really feeling anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 11:17am

I am there with ya..Normally, I love the Holidays, Easter was hard..It was nice to be around all family, but lonely because all of the past Holidays over the past year have been with him, with my family...It was hard, siblings had their sig. others..i just felt alone, and sad...I had a breakdown, crying last night right before bed..( my poor mother always is there to support me) but today i feel back on track....so please dont feel alone...it was def. harder..

Bella

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 3:23pm

Hi Sun,

I used to dread the holidays too. My mind would fill up with so many thoughts about what he would be doing and who he'd be doing it with. By my first Easter without him, I was moving to a new place and he was seeing another girl from out of town. It was a warm and beautiful day and I remember thinking that morning, "It would be nice to take a walk". I guess he had that thought as well because while I was packing some boxes into my car, he walked by my house, with her!
I was dumbfounded. I called my friends and asked, "Why would he do that"? True, he lived five minutes away from me and it is a small town but, I lived in a residential area, not a busy street. He could have found another route. He could have taken a different way to get back home. I would have never done something like that to him.
I cried for the rest of the day. I knew he had someone else but, to finally have her right in front of me - killed me. He was really moving on and I wasn't even a thought anymore. I was completely empty.
A few more holidays came and went, still missing him, still wishing he was there. Then at Xmas, two years later, he called. I had nothing to give anymore. I had spent so much time hurting over him that I was now empty - on him. Hearing his voice and him acting like nothing ever happened just felt wrong. He was now the lonely one, missing what we had.

They feel it too, Sun.

Stay Strong!