who knows where this goes
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 01-09-2005 - 5:06pm |
Just looking for some feedback…I have been involved in a committed relationship with the love of my life for the last 7yrs. No relationship is perfect but as far at this one went we were doing pretty ok. We are both still young and although we have discussed marriage, I as well as he though that we still had all the time in the world.
I recently moved aboard to study in August of 2004, however when returning home for Xmas I found out that he has been cheating on me since the ending of October and that the lady who is almost 10yrs his senior is pregnant. He claims it was purely sexual and he has no feelings for her and does not want to be in a relationship with her nonetheless he can’t avoid seeing her because of this baby.
He did not expect me to accept it as he knows me well, but I can’t help feeling sorry for him and want to comfort him. He is taking it more badly than I am, as he has not even told his parents or friends. He seems confused and lost, as he does not want a child at this point or a relationship with her. He is practically ashamed of the situation and regrets every second of it, but this was not a one-night stand, but several time over a month.
I have forgiven him it was almost instant, there was no hatred just hurt and confusion. I still love this man with all my heart and will always love him, I did not argue with him cause I could see his pain and anguish and his tears were more than I could bear.
It has been 12days since I found out…Am I crazy to still love this man and want to be there for him as he is hurting and going though a tough time in his life, am I wrong to care about his child and his life still?????

kindres...
Pianoguy admires your sympathy for the b/f....but can't quite figure out why you wish to align yourself with somebody who cheated on you (and got the lady pregnant no less)?
You might have felt your were committed to each other over the course of 7 years...but HIS COMMITMENT certainly wasn't serious. And when you're handed a line like: "I only wanted sex, but she means nothing to me" should reinforce one thing.
If the situation was reversed...and you were the lady who got pregnant by him...his emotional feelings for you would be ZIP!!!! But if your feelings for this man (and his soon to be born child) ARE MORE IMPORTANT than your personal expectations for a "happy, stable relationship" in the future....there's very little I can say...except.....
He's probably gonna cheat on you again sometime!
Pianoguy
Pianoguy, Thanks.
But I have no intentions of ever going back with him or to provide an opportunity for him to cheat on me again. But I can’t seem to shake this caring feeling, I don’t think it’s possible to stop loving someone overnight, I really still do love him and want him to be happy, no less happiness than I desire for myself in the future. Life is not as black and white as we make it, people make mistakes and I understand that as a human.
Yet I still think it’s insane to feel this Love for him.
"The curse of poverty has no justification in our age. It is socially as cruel and blind as the practice of cannibalism at the dawn of civilization, when men ate each other because they had not yet learned to take food from th