Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Why?
2
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 11:04pm

Why cant I let go, I haven't talked to my ex in over a month, and i couldn't help myself and just called her to tell her things are going better, and that i hope school and work is going good with her... i miss her so much , even know after being broken up for over 7 months.... i still cant get rid of the feelings i have for her.... it hurts soo bad... she got so mean on the phone and said hateful things to me.... why does she do that....?

i want nothing more than to love her.... obviously after all this time, what i feel for her is love right..? or is it just i am so lonely she is the one i turn to and with her degrading me , it just hurts more and i want to make it better...?

ugh, I wish i could afford therapy, cause i would go get it.... this hurts so much i think it is affecting my health... i want nothing more than to love her, care for her, be with her, just be her friend at times, be her lover at others.... but, she has turned to hating me i guess cause we didn't rush into marriage...

she said not to tell her i love her, just call to be friends, but that hurts even more, cause i want to express how i feel... i have chosen to not call at all... that has put a stake through my heart....

i guess, to be alone is my destiny.... everyone i meet wants to get married right away without really getting to know each other...... why is that, is there something wrong with me?

i wish she was on this board so she could see how much i love her, enough to get some advice at least, i cant ask my friends.... they have foul things to say about her....

anyone to talk to that has been in my shoes would be great....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
In reply to: brokenandtorn
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:49am
I feel that you are addicted to the idea of her. You want someone to love and share with but you know deep down, she is not the right person. It took me awhile to realize this about my own situation. I was never in love, but thought I was falling. But how could I have been falling in love when I was so miserable even before I was dumped? I think you need to start doing no contact. As friends or otherwise. Its a hard road but if you want to be truly happy, you know you have to do it. If after 7 months it was meant to be, something positive should have transpired by now. Yet she is still treating you poorly. Why? Because you keep letting her. From reading your other posts, she seems like the controlling type and when not in control she doesn't have the time for you. I don't think she is someone you want to get stuck with. We dictate how someone treats us. Not the other way around. Time to start expecting better for yourself and eliminate her from your life so you can find the one who deserves all that love you are aching to give! It took me a long time to finally see this for myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: brokenandtorn
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 2:11pm

Hi brokenandtorn,


In an effort to bring you some insight, I'm going to be very blunt, k?