Why?
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Why?
| Tue, 05-15-2007 - 2:28pm |
So almost a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of six months. Sadly, this was my longest relationship to date. The whole time we were together he ran hot and cold. When I was with him, I felt like I had all his attention but when we were apart, he never contacted me. I always had to make contact first. Anyway, we broke up. He had made plans with me and then just never called or returned my calls. When I got finally got a hold of him, he gave me a lame excuse. Later, he told me hat he had reconnected with someone that he wanted to try to have a relationship with. It hurt like hell. I decided that sitting around waiting for him to reconsider was killing me so i decided to try online dating. I met a great guy and we started to date. We have only been out a few times. Well, to get to the point of this post, I sent the ex an email. Yes, I know it was stupid but it gets worse. He wrote back that he really wanted to see me and missed me. He then called me and wanted me to meet up with him at his place. I told him we needed to meet at a more neutral place. Long story short, we talked and then I ended up spending the night with him. What is wrong with me? This guy never treated me with respect and yet I caved within moments. As you might have expected, I haven't heard from him since. Why do I sabotage myself?

Hi seashell,
Don't be too hard on yourself. I remember the days (thankfully, long ago) when I did some of the same things. It's like we are weak in a moment where we reach out to make contact and because this person will talk to us, share with us, then it makes everything *SEEM* ok for a moment in time, then we are back on planet earth and reality and poof, we are back where we started.
I wonder the same thing. Why *do* we keep going back for more, when we should have had enough already? Do we want project guys? Fixer uppers? If I love him enough he'll change? Or is it about how we feel about ourselves?
Know what the best thing about beating your head against the wall is? How good it feels when you stop!