WHY?????????
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| Mon, 03-20-2006 - 3:20pm |
He told me last Saturday that he couldnt live without me.
Next thursday he tells me that he is packing his stuff tomorrow.
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
We've been together for a year now, a year next week. When I lost my apt and my job, I moved to his neighboorhood for cheaper rent and to be closer to him. We were living a great life together, yes we had our fights and disagreements..but nothing that was too terrible.
We finally began to make steps towards our future, both of us, not just me pushing him. We went through a hard time recently, a miscarriage that took a lot out of me and he was there.. fully supporting me through it.
He told me that he was going to this party and that this girl was going to be there, this girl that has had a THING for him for a while. I told him that I trusted him, I was uncomfortable with him going, but that I knew that he wouldnt do anything to harm us. I was inwardly upset, because I wanted him to think about how it made me feel. In anger, I wrote down a few not so nice things in my journal...just to blow off some steam at the situation. One thing lead to another and he read it.. then he wanted to pack his stuff and leave. I wrote that I was tired of him not thinking about my feelings and that I wished he wouldnt go to this party.
In that moment, he ended our relationship.. and has not wanted to contact me at all. I am lost and confused. We were about to move in together, about to start our lives together. Now, I'm in his neighboorhood, one block from his house, around the corner from his job. I dont know a soul in the area except people he introduced me to. I have a constant reminder of him everyday.. how do I get over this? How do i move on with no answers? I saw his friend this morning and told his friend to tell him that I missed him.. he emailed me scolding me, telling me to not do that.
HELP.. Im going home soon to this huge empty apartment, walking past his job, his apt...please can someone give me some advice?????
Melissa

Melissa
I saw your message to me and thank you for that
I can feel for you so much. I dont know what to say. your ex seemed to act in a really immature way. I am like you, i vent my anger elsewhere, i dont make scenes. and i faced smae issue him playing tennis every week end with a girl who he ad a crush on earlier.
we will maybe never uunderstand what happened, and like you i am si hurt, could not work for a week and it is not getting better.i miss him so much, we are also neighbours, etc.
i have a hard time thinking straight but friends keep telling me: you escaped. thank god for that etc. do you really want to be with someone who reacts this way in the long run? think about it. if you are married with this guy with kids and he reacts this way, what happens? i have been though a divorce. It is a thousand times worse than what we are going through now!!!
i know i cant function properly but i just wnat to tell you that i feel so much for you and I am there. if you wnat to write me my email is greenflower@hotmail.co.uk
and keep your chin up. dont call, email etc. tried it before and it is never ever works. disappearing is only way to win: they either come back or you forget and move on!!!
lots of hugs!!!
ps: sorry for typos, i am a bit of a wreck right now :(
Hey missyfoosy,
I really have no advice for you but I send many many "hugs" I am going through a break up which is what we have in common so I thought I could just tell you that I know how you must be feeling right now. What I don't understand is why him reading your journal would lead him to just up and leave. If is was love, one journal entry could not cause him to just call it quits, throwing away a year with you. Anyway, all I can say is give him time, but I don't know how you are going to handle this living so close to him with no one to talk to.
P.S. Did your journal entry or any entry prior to that one, say anything that may make him think twice about the person he thought you were. I am just trying to imagine what you could have wrote to make him give up on you like that. You said you wrote some not so nice things. "Those not so nice things" could be some harsh words that really make him see you in a different light because you pretend you didn't mind but then inside you are angry enough to say those "not so nice words"
Give him some space but not before you tell him how you feel and why you did what you did and wrote what you wrote. If he thinks about it and really cares about moving forward then he will, but there isn't much else you can do without sounding annoying and repetitive.
Sorry, I said I didn't have any advice, but I guess I do...hope I help a little, I'm just trying to see both sides from what you wrote.
I have really come to the conclusion that there is nothing that I can do anymore. Ive beggged, pleaded, cried... and he is still adamant. It was a new journal, so there was nothing before it that would have given him any misconceptions about me.
I am soo lost right now.. and its not getting better. What I have decided to do is say farewell to him. That I will always love him, that if he realizes that he wants to try again, that I am here waiting. But until that day, we will not see or speak to each other. That's all I can do. He wanted his freedom...thats all he wanted, so nothing I say can make him stay. I can just hope that he realizes that what we had was real and amazing.. that he remembers all the good times and that maybe it will bring him back to me.
I just hope that I can be strong enough to stay away from him. God, I loved this man to my core. Im going crazy thinking about my life without him...its soo surreal and sad.
Melissa