Why Always Us?
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Why Always Us?
| Mon, 02-28-2005 - 8:48pm |
Don't men ever get their hearts broken? Why do women sit around analyzing and dissecting and wondering what THEY did? Don't men have hearts at all? How can they just walk away as if we never existed? I'm feeling especially vulnerable tonight and can't help wondering if men ever feel pain?

I am sitting here wondering the same thing during the last 3 weeks......
I do think men feel pain, they just don't always show it in the same ways. Of course, I don't think all men feel it, as I don't feel all women do.
It's heartbreaking to be struggling here and analyzing everything to death knowing that he is probably just watching tv, unphased....at least in my case, I think that's probably what he's doing.
Ugh.
I'm a guy and I can attest that guys do feel the pain and heart ache of breaking up. As a matter of fact in my case I'm the one hurting the most.
I'm two months out of my ex calling off our wedding and I've been ridden with pain, grief, and now some anger. Last week I left town for 8 days just to get away, primarily so I wouldn't see her, and when I get back she contacts me to tell me she has some ammends to make to me when "I have a chance and feel like talking to her".
Long story short I don't call her for a couple days so she calls me and I tell her to go ahead with what she wants to say as I had some time. She prefaced the ammends with telling me she's been seeing someone for the past week and a half. This person, who was never more than a friend, has caused her much pain in the past which I've helped her get through. It's unimaginable to me that she'd do this, but it does help me see what kind of a woman I was going to marry which should help me get over our broken relationship. The ammends were her telling me I did everything right, that I was the perfect man, thanked me for all I've done for her and that the problem was with her. She did apologize for leading me on too long and accepting my financial support as she said she did know for some time, but couldn't bring herself to tell me.
Yeah, guys experience the pain just like woman do. Having your ex after the fact tell you that though she did tell you she loved you and always wanted to be with you, but she never said she was "in love" with you so she couldn't marry you wasn't the best feeling in the world. Some may show it more than others, but the pain is still the same. It hurts worse than I've ever been hurt and I've experienced quite a bit. I know it'll get better and know what to do, now just have to do it. I was already on the way, but am starting over now!
Eddie.... I read your post and your situation sounds a lot like mine. I'm so sorry and trust me I understand the pain. I do have some questions for you though...
My fiancee (EX) and I broke up one month ago today. We were supposed to get married this summer. I had everything planned, had my dress etc..Christmas Eve I was talking about my dress to his family and we were speaking about our honeymoon. Anyway, a month later he breaks up with me. I asked him when his feelings changed and he said around Thanksgiving. I asked him why he pushed me to get things done and why he let me go on and on about my dress when he didn't "love" me anymore. He answered "I thought things would change." I was with this man for 7 years and it took him all of one week to hook up with another girl. One week after that I found a card in his apartment from her saying "I love you today, tomorrow and always." I asked him if there was someone else when we broke up and he adamantly denied it. When I found the card I asked him again and he swore up and down he only met her the weekend after we broke up. The only reason I believe him is because she lives on the other side of the country. When I asked him if he loved her he said "I'm not crazy." "I can't fall in love that quick." I told him if I was her and I said "I love you," and he didn't reply with the same I wouldn't feel so good.
So my questions to you are: Do you think he had prior contact to her before they "hooked up?" Do you think he told her he loved her? If so, can a guy fall in love so quickly after ending a long term relationship? Do you think he thinks about me and/or compares me to this other girl? Does he miss me in the least?