Why can't I get over this?
Find a Conversation
Why can't I get over this?
| Wed, 09-28-2005 - 2:51pm |
It has been 2 weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. At one time we had plans to get married and have children. I don't know when it started to fall apart, but a couple of months ago he told me he didn't want to have any more children and he didn't want to get married. I am 29 years old and have never been married and have no children. I was devastated I want these two things more than anything in the world. I couldn't stand the thought of not having him in my life and was willing to compromise and agree to not have children with the hopes that one day he would change his mind on marriage. I stayed for a couple more months, but he had changed and it just wasn't there anymore. We talked and decided to go our separate ways. He has thrown himself into the dating scene. I can't even express the pain I am feeling. I can't eat or sleep and he is constantly on my mind. I am so scared to be alone. I have lost hope of ever meeting that person. I thought he was the one but obviously things changed. The relationship was a wonderful relationship and I just can't move on. I am in so much pain. We parted on good terms but have no contact and it is killing me not to call or email. Every night I have the hope that he will call and in my heart I know he won't and has moved on. I feel like I am dying inside.

i am so sorry for your pain. i don't think there's anything i could say to make your pain go away, but for what it's worth...you're not alone...there are many of us here who may not all be in the same situations, many similar, but the bottom line is not matter what has caused this horrible pain, sorrow and sadness, we are all feeling it, or have in the past.
i can't even imagine how it feels to have your ex dating again so soon after the break up...because it's been a year since my break up and my ex is still single (although i know he's dated/had sex here and there, but so have i), but nothing serious, and even though your ex isn't in a serious relationship, i'm sure it's still eating you up inside.
your discussion title is "why can't i get over this?"....it's only been 2 weeks, so ofcourse your still going to be hurting like crazy...my break up was a year ago(4 yr relationship...lived for 2), and i'm still trying to fully let go and heal, and i still go through phases where it hurts so much that i like yourself can't eat, and find it even difficult to breathe, so even though we can't put a time on our healing...i think it's safe to say that 2 weeks is still pretty fresh....and i went through a loooooooooooong phase where i really felt like i was "dead", i might have been physicall alive, but inside i just didn't feel alive anymore, so i know how you feel....apart of the reason why i struggled so much for this past year was because the ex and i still had contact...seeing eachother,talking all the time...we never went more than a week without speaking throughout this year...we also ended on good terms, and we still share a connection that i don't think can ever be broken...which makes it even harder to let go...and for me, i had to and still trying to let go of guilt/regret/ and forgiving myself(i broke up with him and did some not so nice things)...and i did almost everything in my power not to face these issues because i knew it was too hard to face...so even though it's been a year since our break up, i haven't REALLY started trying to heal/let go until recent...if there's anything you could take away from this(my post)...i hope it's that you face your issues whatever they may be...like, why is it you're so afraid to be alone(i went through that too), and work on that and whatever other issues are at the ROOT of all this pain, because sometimes we think we're in pain because of this or that, and until we dig deep enough we won't find the real cause of it...and please don't try to find temporary relief from the pain or try to run from it because it will come back and it will be much worse...just my 2 cents because i've been there.
PS: i think it's really great that you've gone 2 weeks without contact...that takes a lot of strength....keep that up, because that will definately help ease the pain a little.
your welcome...it helped me to know that i wasn't the only going through this too...i still think about the good times too, and that was my first "real" loving relationship i was in too, and i never loved anyone as much as i loved/still love my ex..and there's nothing wrong with that..we have to learn still love but at the same time let go.
i know what it's like to keep remembering the good times....i still do, it doesn't hurt as much when i remember, but there was a looooooooooooooong period of time where it was like a knife stabbing me in the heart everytime the memories came flooding in my head which by the way was and still is literally from the time i wake up in the morning til i go to bed, and even sometimes while i'm asleep, because i dream of him sometimes.