Why cant I leave my horrible boyfriend?
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Why cant I leave my horrible boyfriend?
| Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:09pm |
Hi. I'm new here and wasn't sure if this was the right board to post my situation/question but I need help. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years and we've been living together for 8 months. I knew from the beginning he had a very ugly side but I rarely saw it and never towards me. He has been on medication for several different things like depression etc. since he was little, but has recently stopped taking them and refuses to ever take them again. He has this incredibly charming and playful side that I saw alot and fell head over heels in love with. He is also incredibly handsome.
For the past two months though his ugly side has really come out, especially towards me. I don't understand this because I am nothing but kind and giving to him. Cooking, paying for bills when he's low, never denying him sex or time with his friends. It's gotten really bad in the past two weeks. He is just an unpleasant person. No manners, no consideration for me whatsoever. He says he has fallen into a depression again and says "how can I make you happy if I'm not happy myself." I try my hardest to make him happy but he still treats me awful, says terrible things about me and his whole family who are just trying to help. He is so unpleasnt that he gets mad when I try to cheer him up by looking at the bright side of things.
I know I have to break up with him because he is really bringing me down. I am so miserable it's unreal. His mom, my friends, and coworkers all try to tell me to break it off because of how he treats me. I have tried but can never do it for more than a day. Now though we have both decided it's best for him to leave but he can't drive due to lack of registration, he lost his job and owes several people lots of money. So he definatley can't get his own place and he refuses to live back with his mother and I am getting the apartment. I guess I've been trying to get him on his feet so he can get out, but I am completely miserable around him. I guess you could say I am growing a hatred towards him. But for some reason I just can't let go. The thought of being without him saddens me deeply. I want him to change. I want him to just snap out of it. I know it's not possible but I just don't understand how someone can be so mean all the time. He says it's not me and it isn't. Why do I keep letting him walk all over me? Why can't I just kick him out without worrying about where he'll sleep? I'm too kind and he doesn;t deserve it but I can't seem to stop. I need help please!!!
For the past two months though his ugly side has really come out, especially towards me. I don't understand this because I am nothing but kind and giving to him. Cooking, paying for bills when he's low, never denying him sex or time with his friends. It's gotten really bad in the past two weeks. He is just an unpleasant person. No manners, no consideration for me whatsoever. He says he has fallen into a depression again and says "how can I make you happy if I'm not happy myself." I try my hardest to make him happy but he still treats me awful, says terrible things about me and his whole family who are just trying to help. He is so unpleasnt that he gets mad when I try to cheer him up by looking at the bright side of things.
I know I have to break up with him because he is really bringing me down. I am so miserable it's unreal. His mom, my friends, and coworkers all try to tell me to break it off because of how he treats me. I have tried but can never do it for more than a day. Now though we have both decided it's best for him to leave but he can't drive due to lack of registration, he lost his job and owes several people lots of money. So he definatley can't get his own place and he refuses to live back with his mother and I am getting the apartment. I guess I've been trying to get him on his feet so he can get out, but I am completely miserable around him. I guess you could say I am growing a hatred towards him. But for some reason I just can't let go. The thought of being without him saddens me deeply. I want him to change. I want him to just snap out of it. I know it's not possible but I just don't understand how someone can be so mean all the time. He says it's not me and it isn't. Why do I keep letting him walk all over me? Why can't I just kick him out without worrying about where he'll sleep? I'm too kind and he doesn;t deserve it but I can't seem to stop. I need help please!!!

Aw hun, my heart really broke reading your post..
First of all, your boyfriend is in need of serious help. Help that you alone cannot give him. I can totally understand why you want to help him - you love him and you want to see him happy.. but until he wants to help himself I honestly think its a lost cause. Him refusing to take his medicine & everything else proves he doesn't want to do anything to improve his situation. You need to get yourself out of this situation because it is really unheatlhy for you.. Why does he refuse to live with his mom? Maybe you could talk to her (and him) about him moving back in with her and him going back to the doctor to try a new medication and getting his life on track.
I'm so sorry that you're stuck in such an awful position. You sound like such a sweet, kind, & loving person and you definitely deserve to be treated better. Best of luck and remember, we're all here if you need anything, so keep posting.