Why Did This Happen To Me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Why Did This Happen To Me?
3
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 10:09am
I have been with my boyfriend for over four years. When I met him, he had come out of a relationship with the mother of his son. Four years later, last night, I found out they had gotten back together, he bought her a house and she is currently pregnant again. I want to lie down and die. Why did this happen to me. They have been on and off for years from what I now hear. I was too blind to see what was in my face. He's been through all kinds of drama with this women over her being with other men, etc. I'm nowhere near to acting like that and I get mislead. The thing is, he didn't even tell me. I heard it from someone else. I comfronted him and he said he didn't have the heart to tell me and never wanted us to end like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 12:46pm

There is no reason why you should blame yourself or in any way think you did anything wrong. it's obvious he has issues he needs to resolve...maybe he's still in love with her or maybe he did it for his son. The thing that is clear to me is that you didn't put him through that kind of drama. You had a good relationship with him (I'm assuming) and you're a better person than all that. And you can take that on with you and have a healthy, loving relationship with someone. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend will have that with this girl, so there has to be some solace in that. Do I understand you to say that he was cheating on you with this girl? If so, there's no excuse for that and for all his dishonesty in not letting you know what is going on. It sounds to me like you are a really good person who just had a not-so-good person happen to her!

Steph

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 2:05pm
OH MY GOD THAT SOUND HORROBLE!!! THATS VERY BAD!!! THIS GUY IS A JERK YOU DONT DESERVED HIM...SORRY TO SAY BUT HE IS..THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I WILL ADVISED SOMEONE HERE IN IVILLAGE TO LET GO OF SOMEONE THEY LOVE...TO BE HONEST WTH YOU I FEEL WHAT YOUR FEELING RIGHT NOW IT HURT A LOT!! IT SOUND SO FAMILIAR FOR ME..WELL ACTUALLY MY BF NOW HE HAS SIMILAR STORY LIKE YOURS..THE WIFE CHEATED!! NOW ITS VERY HARD FOR ME TO GAIN HIS TRUST...AND IF MY FRIEND COME OVER MY HOUSE AND I DIDNT TOLD HIM THAT AND HE FIND OUT...OH MY GOD HE ACT CRAZY!!! ITS VERY ANNOYING BELIEVE ME...LIKE YOU SAID THE GIRL IS PREGNANT AGAIN I WISH HE WILL GET KARMA AND FIND OUT THAT THE BABY WASNT HIS <<>> LIKE YOU SAID SHES BEEN SLEEPING AROUND "WHAT GOES AROUND COME AROUND"
GOD BLESS YOU AND GOOD LUCK!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 2:21pm
You guys are making me feel so much better. I'm having my ups and downs right now. One minute, I'm fine and the next I crying all over the place. Your comments are really helping me. Thank you so much!!!!