Why did I call him back?

Avatar for daisychain2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Why did I call him back?
4
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:25am

I had been NC for nearly a week, and it was REALLY helping! Then, I get a call from him yesterday. He left a message saying that his tire blew out and he needed a ride home to get his tire iron. We recently moved to this city, so though I really didn't want to help him, I did because I figured he wouldn't gave called me if there was someone else he could have called.

What a HUGE mistake!! He starts telling me how happy he is. How he's been smiling and laughing more in the last two weeks than he can remember ever doing. Then he tells me about how this new girl he's been hanging out with is always joking about how she's worried I'm going to jump out from a closet when she comes over. (background: he slept with me the night before he went on an all-day date with her, so I left a box full of everything he ever gave me on his doorstep at 2am -- and she came home with him and saw it too).

I don't want to hear about her! I don't want him rubbing in my face how frickin happy he is! I don't want to be with him, but it still hurts to be replaced so quickly, ya know? Going back to NC. I can't have him in my life even as a friend because he's just going to keep hurting me.

I really hate him right now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:43am

I'm sorry you had to go through that - just shows how insensitive he is to tell you about the new girl. Sometimes we have to get a painful reminder to make us realize we are better off without these guys in our lives. I've done the same thing, and each time ended up hurting all over again. Hopefully this will be the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and you can move on. Something similar happened to me, and I was incredibly hurt. Then I got mad, and that helped a lot! Now whenever I find myself thinking about him, wanting to talk to him, I remember a couple of the really hurtful things he has done to me and I get so disgusted, so angry that I get a knot in my stomach. That helps me to start thinking about something else and get on with my life.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 12:21pm
I'm sorry to hear what happened...and I think he's pretty cruel to keep talking about her when you went out of your way to help him.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 10:40pm

Now that you have given him his one shot to prove himself, post break up, next time he calls, emails, texts, stops by, passes you on the street - what ever the case may be when he nexts contacts or sees you - don't give him a second chance to hurt you.

No matter how great the emergency may sound, your ex is more than capable of taking care of himself: you don't need to be there to lend a helping hand, nor as nice and polite an idea as it may seem, nor are you obligated to. Unless, of course, you appreciate being put on the backburner - the 'good enough to call when he has a flat tire' list.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 5:52am

In other words, you went out of your way to help him and he turned around and hurt your feelings??