Why do guys do this
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| Sun, 01-21-2007 - 10:42pm |
Just wanted to post this on its own thred for those of you with any insight Thanks IMINSECLUSION.. I appreciate your kind words...
Well now i am a complete mess. My friends work at a restaurant in my are and
were working last night and called and said they think my ex was there. Well i had
remebered from before we broke up that his uncles 50th birthday party was planned for
that day. I had no idea where it was gonna be but anyways so i guess it was there. Well
they told me he was with another GIRL. I am a complete mess right now it has only been
two months and he already has a new girl that he is bringing to a family party... WTF. I
dont know what to do right now so why i sit and suffer over my 8+ yr relationship he has
moved on. My friends did say they were arguing all night cause she was sitting by herself
the whole time and at one point he was on his phone and she was like WTF blah blah.
Like how can he already be withsomeone else..did i not mean anything to him.It has only been two months... I know he is not gonna be faithful to her like he was with me because he is still trying to contact that ex-girl on the myspace thing but what the hell do i do know. I cant move on at all. I feel so stupid like i meant nothing to him and now i sit and suffer while he is already with someone new. What the hell did i do to deserve this. Here i am not able to even see myself with someone else and he is bringing a new girl to his family like what is wrong with him. How could he do this after being with me for so long. This jerk was my future, my dreams, my everything i did it all for him and he could just go on so quickly. How do i know stop thinking of him being with her and what he is doing with her while i sit here and feel like my life is over. There is nothing else to look forward to. I feel so betrayed and like a loser that he told me oh i want to be single, find myself and all this crap but he is already bringing girls around his family. I am completely destroyed and just cant go on. I am at my wits end feeling like crap when i was the best i could be with him. I am the better person and he gets to be the one to move on and have someone new and i dont.
I am so sick and tired of feeling like a piece of dirt... what did i do so wrong to him
for him to just go on. I guess i meant nothing to him and 8+ yrs of my life were all
lies. He probably could care less about me and is just so happy right now.
Sorry for rambling thanks for listening.....

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"Like i think if i was good enough for him he wouldnt have left and possibly try to find someone new."
This is NOT TRUE! It has nothing to do with you being good enough or not, trust me. I used to think that way too but it's not the case at all. You are probably too good for him! Me and my friends have all been dumped by guys who are not even that great. Sometimes a guy just can't appriciate you or realize how wonderful you are for whatever reason. That is his problem not yours. Don't think that there's something wrong with you. Sometimes people just aren't good together and the relationship doesn't work out. That's ok. You will be fine and find someone who is so much more amazing and better for you! Someone who treats you like a princess. I know it's hard to imagine that right now, but everything comes in its time!
Your feelings are quite normal at this time right after a breakup. I think we have all gone through them, no matter our age. You have been with him all of your young adult life. Eight years is a very long time, esp. at your age. I was with my Ex for six years. I totally understand how comfortable you can get with one guy and it is unimaginable to think of being with another guy. But in time, when you start dating again, that will be a big part of the excitement of meeting someone new, learning all about them, and that will last for many months!
It is common to re-live over and over all the good times and things about the relationship, and to forget about the bad. Make a list of all the not-so-good things about him and go over that when you get too sad. That will help give you some balance.
You are very young. You have the whole of your life before you. I know that is of little consolation now, and you will have to go through your grieving and readjustment period. But think of it as an opportunity to grow and explore all those things that you were hampered from doing in your relationship. You may not even know what those thing are, but you will begin to find out if you keep an open mind.
I promise you will have another love of your life, and probably several! I am 54. I had a marriage for 28 years, then a six-year fun and exciting relationship, and now I have met the most wonderful guy and am having a blast once again. It will happen to you, too.
Even after six years, my EX did not appreciate me enough to make a commitment, and now that I am completely gone, he is begging me to come back. So, there is not anything wrong with us; it is THEM who have some maturing to do.
You will go through some months of working through this, but then you will be healed and happy. Your BF, on the other hand, is delaying the work he needs to do, and will probably start wanting you back after you have moved on. And then, it will be HIS turn to go through the healing process.
We will be here on this board for you when you need us. Your feelings are entirely normal. Best wishes!
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