Why do I feel so betrayed? I need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2007
Why do I feel so betrayed? I need help
1
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 11:02pm

I lived w my ex-boyfriend for over 5 yrs. I mentioned to him that I wanted to get engaged once and he almost passed out, so i never approached that subject again. I needed help and his support many times, and he turned his back on me everytime. He made me feel incompetent and stupid in school. Every time that he needed help, I was there. Every time I needed help, he was too busy or didn't think it was important. He wanted to move to New England, very far from my family, I hate cold weather, and bad job market for what I do vs high cost of living. He tried to convince me to move w him, although he didn't try very hard.

I struggled w the idea. Eventually, I realized that he didn't love me. I decided to break the relationship, since I didn't feel right making such a sacrifice in my life for a person that doesn't love me or care for me as much as I did. However, I still had a dream where he would come to me, or I may decide to move to Boston after all.

Today I found out that he is a member of Eharmony. He has actually been a member since February.... only ONE WEEK after we broke up! This is even more proof that he didn't love me.

I'm feeling betrayed, i feel unloved, i feel cheated. Why, we are not together anymore? what can i do to put this behind me and move on?

I wanted to add: we still talk over the phone about once or twice a week. The talks are very friendly. He has never confessed to me that he is on eharmony (I found out through a friend) or if he is dating someone at all. I enjoy our phone talks and look forward for the weekly talks a lot.... should I just stop? can we just be friends? or will this make me take a longer time to heal? I decided to join eharmony and do the free trial thing and put down his zip code, and lo and behold: we got matched.




Edited 4/23/2007 12:33 am ET by alondrasp
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 2:00am

Welcome to the board alondrasp,


Everything you feel is normal. However, you are NOT less than because of his actions, choices, decisions or behavior.