why do i keep putting it off...
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why do i keep putting it off...
| Wed, 07-28-2004 - 4:41pm |
It is inevitable.... I am going to break up with my bf. But why do I keep putting it off? Because he is so nice. I feel so bad. I have a great guy. He is the " nice guy" that everyone wants. I just don't feel like I am in love with him. I care about him. He tells me all the time that he loves me. I say nothing back. I feel more like he is my best friend. I just don't feel like he is "the one". I hate to hurt him. To make matters worse, he just moved in 3 months ago. If I tell him now, he'll have to move again. I don't want to loose him as a friend. That is probably why I keep putting it off.....
Any suggetions, ideas, or thoughts?
~Babs

It WILL come out eventually and for him to realize that you were feeling this way for months and didnt say anything willmake this person you "love" so much feel hurt, betrayed, stupid and like you took him for a fool.
TO love someone is to be able to put them and their felings first. I always thought that if my ex had thought of how he would feel if the roles were reversed, he would have told me right away. To not do so is selfish. Pure and simple. You are avoiding the issue because you don't want to deal with it, and you don't want to lose your best friend, at the same time you are preventing your BF from being with someone who trully loves him and wants to be wiht him in every way. It is unfair, plain and simple.
Again, if you really love this person, you will put yourself in this awkward situation and hope that he doesnt hate you for leading him on to believing you had a future together. I know for me, if he had been honest about his feelings form teh beginning I would have ben able to eventually be friends. But under the circumstances, knowing he had little consideration for me or my feelings, it isnt possible.
Please do it now.
You're "using" a guy. You're doing precisely what if it was done to you - you'd be enraged about.
The guy wants a partner in life - you said you'd do it, you now want out...but you hate to let go until something or someone better comes along because he's so nice, so convenient, so easy to be with but he doesn't "light your fire".
At some point, you're going to run into someone that does light your fire, you'll kick this guy out so fast your head will spin, and you won't be concerned about keeping the friendship because "after all, you've known this all along, the feelings haven't changed, and you do have to look out for yourself, after all."
Get on withh it....tell the guy it's over, don't resume dating or involvements for about 6 months, get your life together and your goals on track - then date.
He'll do the same, and he'll find osmeone that wants what he wants...and you can find someone that wants what you want.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com