Why do we act the way we do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Why do we act the way we do?
1
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 12:23pm

Hello everyone!

My breakup is 11 days old today. I attend a support group meeting that my ex attends also, NA. He broke up with me to work on himself. He didn't trust me to stay clean, but despite him I have. Anyway, I talked to him Saturday and everytime I would try and get off the phone he would have something else to talk about. It took 3 tries to get off the phone. He told me he loved me, and I told him the same.

When we talked the few times we did the previous week he's told me he loves and misses me. It's hard for him too, but when I see him at a meeting yesterday (in front of all our friends) he doesn't speak to me, but I caught him looking my way several times in the meeting. I didn't talk to him either, as it was suggested I practice abstinence. However, the night before I spoke to him and hugged him. Told him I was glad to see him at a meeting since he hadn't been to any in awhile.

It hurt that he didn't speak to me. Why do they do that? My head wants to think he doesn't love me, he never did, he's really trying to get over me, and there's no chance ever of us getting back together. It's been hard today. I've cried and smoked SEVERAL cigs. I've made it though.

Also I've been getting these hang up calls at work everyday since our break up. My boss even asked me several times if it is my ex. He said he never had them before. They seem to stop after I answer one. Any experience with this?

Vanessa




Edited 1/11/2006 4:09 pm ET by msmissy132
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 4:33pm

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but that's great that you are staying clean. Right now, you need to focus on YOU and not on HIM.

I agree that you need to practice abstinence with respect to your ex. Don't call or him take his calls, and you need to find another meeting or meetings to attend for the time being. Perhaps your sponsor or another friend will go with you so you can feel more comfortable. You won't be able to move on while you are still in contact with him (even if you don't talk to him at the meeting).

Let your boss deal with the hangup calls (which may or may not be your ex)...if need be, he can have them traced and block the calls.

Sheri