Why do we still feel rejected??
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| Thu, 04-21-2005 - 8:14pm |
I just found out some recent information that made me realize by ex never took our relationship seriously at all. Basically, he never had 2 feet in the door and knew it was going to end in the beginning. So, I have no idea why he bothered, I guess it was just lust or something. He apparently lied to me a lot too!!
Anyway, I am at a place now where I wouldn't want him back, no matter what. I realize that he will never be capable of an honest, healthy, committed relationship, or at least not for a really long time. But, what I don't understand is why do I still feel ill and so rejected. I hate feeling rejected by someone I realize is not worth an ounce of my time. Why does this happen and when will it go away.
Please some words of advice or wisdom!!!

I know what you are going through... I am feeling the same way with my ex. He broke up with me, however he was the one who had done so many dispicable things to me - I would never want him back.
However - I feel that icky pang of rejection like you speak of... I think it is for a couple of reasons - first, this is someone we trusted and loved and they didn't turn out to be the men we thought they were. It's like losing someone all over again!
Secondly, and let's be honest, it's got to be a bit of an ego killer... I mean - here we have guys who did some bad things to us and we are great catches - so how dare THEY be the one to break up with US!!
I'm too good for him, aren't I?
I think its a combination of both. You really should keep a journal - write down all of the tearable things that he did to you. When you feel horribly rejected and the feeling won't go away, bring out your journal and read those entries - remind yourself why you are better off without him.
Remember - he will be the NEXT girl's problem, not yours!
That is so true. I just want it to go away completely to where I am not affected at all. I feel like I dated a complete con artist. We were still spending time together up until recently, which was stupid on my part. But, he was saying how he still had feelings and all this BS. Come to find out he was actually back in touch with his ex girlfriend and trying to get her to come visit too. I would love to see how he would have pulled that off. I mean I really think this guy is just horrible, and needs constant attention from someone. This ex-girlfriend knows he cheated on her at least twice, and they've been broken up almost a year. I just can't understand why she would want him back. And, yet it bothers me that she does and that he wants her again. Not to mention, he told me that he never really loved her and just said it because she did, and that he would never date her again...HAHA. Joke was on me I guess!
I just feel like I completely wasted 6 months of my life with someone that never really gave a crap about me. And, that is very hard to swallow.
It is - trust me, I spent 4 yrs with mine - but I swear if I looked at it like a 'waste' it is going to take me a lot longer to get through this mourning period..... It's only been 2 weeks!
I am trying to remind myself that it was not a waste and that I learned a great deal from it. The truth it - I did! No one has only perfect relationships. Everyone has a crappy one(s) that end up teaching them something about themselves, love, relationships, communication, etc.
I suggest you milk your six months for all they were worth... Pull something out of there that you learned because I am sure you did!