Why Does This Happen??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
Why Does This Happen??
3
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 4:36pm
I was just wondering if this happens to anyone else here, or if i'm just crazy right now... I'm not even a week out of my breakup with my bf of 6 months, not a very long relationship but a very intense, abusive one (in every way).
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 8:51pm
It gets better. You have bad days and good days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 9:16am

It's not necessarily crazy, but it's definitely not healthy for you to *act* on those feelings, you'll just end up hurting yourself. Good for you for finding the guts to get yourself out of that, now stay out of it.

Some people, and don't take this the wrong way, but some people are addicted to the drama. Addictive personalities tend to find other addictive personalities. Maybe his was the drugs and alcohol, but yours was the up-down rollercoaster that came along with being with him. Never a dull moment, right? It's the reason why some women like the 'bad boy' and find the 'nice guy' about as exciting as watching paint dry. You can try to deny it, because it just sounds so out there, but by and large that's generally a true statement. Doesn't have to be a permanent one, though, you can work on that.

If you continue to not act on the feelings, it will eventually get better. Find constructive things to do with yourself. It sounds cliche, but only because it's true and works so well. You also might want to learn to see nice guys in a different way, see the excitement that comes from knowing deep in your gut that the man you love loves you back equally, and know deep inside that your life was meant to have a more fulfilling relationship than what the bad boy can give you. That's usually what breaks the spell that bad boys can have over some women.

Good luck,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 5:53pm

Hi cherrygirl,


Sandra nailed it here. This is certainly not crazy, and you are far from the only one.