Why does he do that
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Why does he do that
| Sun, 04-24-2005 - 12:40pm |
Hello dear board members,
Although I was not married, the same goes for broken-up.
My long distance boyfriend (with whom I was for 3 years, 1.5 being long distance) found another girl and broke up with me. That was 9 months ago.
So ok, I went throuh all the pain stages and then acceptance.
After about 3 months into his new relationship, he started saying he wants to get back with me and now he sees all the more that he loves me. Ever since he started saying that, he started calling me constantly (as it used to be when we were together), making me gifts, and if I'd totally not answer the phone he would insist and leave messages and be sorry a million times and saying how he'll marry me next year and so on.
But, he is still with the other woman (and is been about 6 months since he startung calling me again). Now he says she is so obsessed with him he has to gradually break up with her. While initially he was in the same city with her, he is now long distance with her too, although quite close. i know she visits him every often and, lo-and-behold, he also visits her, even took 4 days to go on a long visit. At the same time he calls me constantly telling me how we'll get back together etc etc. Every time i say how come you're visiting her again sice you said you're getting back with me, he says hates where he lives now, or this or that, always has a reason.
If I say forget it, you're not getting back with me and stop talking or get upset, he says i am going shut off a person (him) who loves me so much and he loves me and will make me verry happy and marry me next year, I'll see. Now I just have to wait until the fall (used to be until spring when he moved long distance from her, but now it's fall). he calls constantly and email and just about be as convincing and make all the love declarations you ever want to hear and sound so honest. and sends me gifts - anything i want, and if i ask for help with some work he helps.
Now, Im still obsessing about him, as yo can see, thats why Im posting here. Why is he doing this? is he getting back with me? Or having fun at mind games? he gets nothing from me (no sex nor gifts) cause Im far away from him. and he sends me gifts and always helps me is i ask for help with work or a paper or whatever.
but I can tell you that I obsess abt it and get upset all the time when i see he hasnt broken up and basically I think about it all the time.
Your input will be greatly appreciated,
Audrey K.
Although I was not married, the same goes for broken-up.
My long distance boyfriend (with whom I was for 3 years, 1.5 being long distance) found another girl and broke up with me. That was 9 months ago.
So ok, I went throuh all the pain stages and then acceptance.
After about 3 months into his new relationship, he started saying he wants to get back with me and now he sees all the more that he loves me. Ever since he started saying that, he started calling me constantly (as it used to be when we were together), making me gifts, and if I'd totally not answer the phone he would insist and leave messages and be sorry a million times and saying how he'll marry me next year and so on.
But, he is still with the other woman (and is been about 6 months since he startung calling me again). Now he says she is so obsessed with him he has to gradually break up with her. While initially he was in the same city with her, he is now long distance with her too, although quite close. i know she visits him every often and, lo-and-behold, he also visits her, even took 4 days to go on a long visit. At the same time he calls me constantly telling me how we'll get back together etc etc. Every time i say how come you're visiting her again sice you said you're getting back with me, he says hates where he lives now, or this or that, always has a reason.
If I say forget it, you're not getting back with me and stop talking or get upset, he says i am going shut off a person (him) who loves me so much and he loves me and will make me verry happy and marry me next year, I'll see. Now I just have to wait until the fall (used to be until spring when he moved long distance from her, but now it's fall). he calls constantly and email and just about be as convincing and make all the love declarations you ever want to hear and sound so honest. and sends me gifts - anything i want, and if i ask for help with some work he helps.
Now, Im still obsessing about him, as yo can see, thats why Im posting here. Why is he doing this? is he getting back with me? Or having fun at mind games? he gets nothing from me (no sex nor gifts) cause Im far away from him. and he sends me gifts and always helps me is i ask for help with work or a paper or whatever.
but I can tell you that I obsess abt it and get upset all the time when i see he hasnt broken up and basically I think about it all the time.
Your input will be greatly appreciated,
Audrey K.

Audrey,
Whatever you do...please do not "buy into the games", as I would put it. The same thing has been happening to me and they are soooo convincing, aren't they? I don't know whether it's an ego trip for them or head games , both or what but don't believe any of it..... I did and I just keep getting hurt over and over again. I had been doing so good with him out of my life and then he wants to come back and I let him if only to believe him that he misses me, loves me, etc............ but you are the only one that gets hurt. If he is still with her in ANY WAY he doesn't know what he wants! It is a waste of time. Beleive me...there is a reason your ex is your ex. They don't change!
((((HUGS)))) Good luck! and keep us posted!
Michele