Why does he hate me??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Why does he hate me??
9
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 10:12am
I have been driving myself crazy trying to find a way to make my ex (of 5 years) miss me. The responses I have recieved have helped me a lot! However, I recently contacted my ex to tell him that his law suit (against me- for buying him a motorcycle...) was finalized, and I had money for his judgment. We had a talk, face-to-face when I gave him the check, and this is when he informed me that he hates me. He said he hates me for the way our relationship turned out and that he had to break up with me because "I wouldn't change." Thats why he hasnt contacted me in a year, and why he will never contact me again. He broke up with me, then sued me for something I bought for him, and he hates me??? Shouldnt it be the other way around? I should hate him for everything he has put me through, and is still putting me through... but I don't. Shouldn't he feel bad for this crap by now??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 11:12am

texas_girl86...

Pianoguy can tell you that NO MAN and NO WOMEN on the planet will EVER BEHAVE IN A MANNER THE OTHER PARTNER WISHES...AT LEAST PART OF THE TIME.

This bit of insight comes from a man who has tried several times to understand the opposite sex! Even when you think you know a person's behavior, mood swings and reactions backwards and forwards...there will always be an occasional "surprise" that you didn't count on.

5 years of pining for the EX is ENOUGH! Give yourself permission to move forward and (hopefully) find someone who will love and respect you as much as you'd like to love and respect him!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 5:03pm
pianoguy, you always give great advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 5:37pm

Hi texas_girl


::We had a talk, face-to-face when I gave him the check, and this is when he informed me that he hates me. He said he hates me for the way our relationship turned out and that he had to break up with me because "I wouldn't change." Thats why he hasnt contacted me in a year, and why he will never contact me again. He broke up with me, then sued me for something I bought for him, and he hates me???


Some people get really angry when you won't do what they want you to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 5:52pm
yea, i thought it would. but im even more upset because he hates me... i dont want him to hate me, especially since he has no reason too... i want him to miss me! but i dont think thats ever going to happen. i have to give up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 7:21pm

Hi again,


With all your focus on him, it's hard to heal, be you or work on you. You are MORE important.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 7:23pm
hate is a really strong word
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 7:50pm

sorry i accidentally posted my first response!!!

ok, i was thinking how awful it is he says things like that. it's like, ok, we broke up, leave it at that if you must but why are you still trying to be hurtful? you don't need that, nobody does. it's easy advice to give out, and hard to use on yourself (trust me i know) but yeah move on.

being successful is the best revenge. trust me i do know exactly what you are going through. my girlfriend left me for a 23 year old college dropout drugdealer. so i'm pretty much going to make my millions and be the biggest mistake of her life. and it shall be sweet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 8:21pm

Texasgirl 86,

Hi my ex fiance left me recently (8 year relationship) and like you he told me he hated me and blames me 100% for for the way things turned out also. At first I was hurt but now I realise there is nothing I can do about the way he feels about me, how can I control what he thinks, I can't.

The only thing you can really do is not focus on what he thinks and turn your thoughts around to only care about you.

My breakup is very fresh, only 7 weeks, and I see someone now that can't take responsibility for anything, so why does it matter what he thinks. Be successful with moving on and in time you won't care what he thinks about you. I believe they blame and hate because they can't take responsibility on their part so you are better off without him.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2006
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 10:46am

my ex hates me and i have no idea why.
i thought that maybe after the history and how much i gave him (time, energy and mentally) would translate into something more but at the end of the day i'm apparently the bad guy and i have no idea why

men are just a$$holes at the end of the day