why does he keep coming back
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why does he keep coming back
| Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:47am |
A little background. BF and I have been together 7 years. He has moved out a few times during the past. This year has been the hardest. He left last Dec for 3 weeks and came back then in Feb left for 6 weeks and came back and then again in September for 6 weeks and came back. I do know he wants a baby and before I would not have one bacause I felt he wasnt ready. Now for the first time I have agreed to have one so if that is the issue we found a way to solve it. Currently we are trying to take it slow and work on our relationship. He has not moved home and I want to make sure our issues are resolved before that happens. I also told him that I want him to commit to the relationship this time around if we were going to work on things. I dont understand why someone would break up with you and move out and then want to come back over and over. When I ask him why he keeps leaving he says he doesnt know. I do know that we love each other very much but we somehow get into a rut once we are back together. I want to make sure it doesnt happen this time around. Any advise would be appreciated.

History repeats itself.
~Live to be happy~Be happy to live~
This kind of behavior is a very typical pattern for people with commitment issues.
I would suggest that you read "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Steven Carter, and get him to commit to at least 6 months of counseling (preferably individual, but you might have to start with couples, since many men find couples counseling less intimidating).
Sheri
When the baby comes and you are completely exhausted from making a human and getting no sleep for 4 months... his disappearing act is going to drive you to the edge of your sanity. As a parent, his childish behavior is not going to be annoying or worrisome, it is going to be disgusting. You will lose all respect or caring for him.
Look out, falling rocks ahead.