Why doesnt he feel the same way?
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Why doesnt he feel the same way?
| Tue, 06-27-2006 - 12:31am |
Okay...Im gonna try to make this as short as I can. Im 18 years old and I dated my ex boyfriend for 4 years..that was basically my entire life so far...for me that feels like forever. I was his first serious girlfriend and everything. Well we were getting ready to move into our first apartment together in April and out of the blue he broke up with me sayin how uphappy he was and how he didnt have "feelings for a future with me"...I also found out he met another girl that was 26 years old and is a RN so she makes a lot more money than I do. Thats one problem hes had with me..was that i didnt make much money cause im still in college so Im keepin it simple for myself...Well I took the break up okay at first...then I found out that he moved in with this new girl..the girl he knew for about 2 weeks he moved in with..when he knew me for 4 years..yea it was pretty messed up. For some reason I cant seem to stay mad at him or away from him. I miss him terribly and there is nothin i can do about it. I have dated a lot of new guys and no one compares to what he made me feel like. We had something so special and so strong. I never for one second would have wanted anything more than him...well we keep in touch, we talk at least once everyday or every other day..so I know what all is goin on in his life. Him and his girlfriend have had major problems....neither one of them trust each other at all..and they have only been together for about 3 months and already have almost killed each other because of serious fights. He wont leave tho..he doesnt know what it is that is makin him stay..but he keeps givin me mixed signals tellin me how me and him may be together again one day..and he looks at me like no one else does. I do have a boyfriend right now..but I know im not happy..i know who i want...and I jus dont understand how you can spend 4 years with someome and not be "in love" with then, or have feelings for a future..it doesnt make sence to me. Now he spends everynight gettin drunk jus to make him self happy..thats no way to live your life..and im tryin to help him..hes not the same guy he use to be..but when he is around me..I can see how happy he is..he jus doesnt see it, and im scared he never will. I want him back in my arms..and i dunno how to make that happen anymore..what do i do? He is a really great guy and gave me the world, and I could have been a better girlfriend..but then why does he still talk to me? He is unhappy and I know it, I jus dont know what to do to just get over him. I want him and only him but I dunno if im ever gonna have that again, but then im sittin here kind of waitin for him.....uuhh..its soo hard! help me please!

I know it's hard to loss the love of your life after 4 years of dating, but it happened and you need to accept it. He made his choice and it seems that it's not a good one. He, though, won't leave the situation he's in for some unkown reasons. You on the other hand, still loves him and are willing to stick with him despite all the situation. You want him back and are waiting to see if he leaves her. However, the facts say the opposite....he is not leaving her and he's saying that you both could be together "some day", which is just BS. If he wanted to be with you he'd have left this girl long time ago. It seems that he wants you in the back just in case, whcih isn't fair to you.
In your case, I'd tell him that once he resolves his situation he can call you. After having this conversation, I'd cut ALL contact with him. Dear, you need to think in yourself too. You need time to grieve the loss and get over him. If you keep contact with him and keep listening to the same excuses and lies you'll never be able to recover and get on with your life. Unfortunatelly it happened, he broke it up and you need to move on. He's moved on, he's living with his new GF. It' not perferct for him, but he made the choices.