Why is he doing this to me? :(
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:26pm |
My boyfriend just broke off with me 1 week ago after our 3 years of relationship. The problem is not because of us but because of his dad. His dad was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks ago (was hospitalised ever since) and he has to take over his family business and also taking care of his dad. The question is, why does he has to break up with me?? I tried calling him but he just wouldn't take my call. I feel so frustrated. Our relationship has been fine all along. He even thanked me for being such a wonderful girlfriend but...??? why the sudden break up then?? I don't understand.
After the break up, he even text me msg like, "Pls take good care of yourself. miss u." and "Have you found someone else? Pls take good care of yourself and do not drink too much (alcohol). Miss u." And everytime I reply him with "miss u too", he doesn't response anymore. What does all these text means? Does he want me back? Or he's just expressing his concern as a friend?

It sounds like your ex just can't handle being in a relationship while his father is sick and having to take care of the business. You might think he is treating you with respect by sending you these caring text messages but in reality he is making this break up worse.
If I were in your shoes I would text him back (since he isn't returning your calls) and say something along the line of "Please do not send anymore text messages to me since we are broke up and I need to move on".
See what type of response you get from that.
Good luck!
i'm so sorry to hear this....i dont know whats wrong with all of this guys(actually not most of them)...for some reason if ever they get busy, start having problem or etc...THEY START BREAKING UP WITH THEIR GF. i'm assuming they cannot handle things together at the same time...compare to us ladys we could do multiple task at the same time...even in psychological study guys are not comparable to us...ofcourse as ladys even we having different problem about family, friend, work related or etc....we still keep them and obviously we dont involved them....instead we want them to support us. right?
i know its hard...but try to take it easy...cry if you need to...coz this will help you ease the pain...like they always say it will take time...but actually its true isnt?....like me i was in a same situation like yours(6mths ago now)..at first i'm the one initiating the contact now my ex does it...so if that happen ofcourse we feel better right? my ex really wants to see me....but as of now i rather not too(oh well i dont want to talk so soon)....as long i could control myself i will...coz in our stage(age) we both know what we really want in our life we are not teenager to be acting one...so if he really wants me...DO SOME MOVE
ANYWAYS...at your situation try to make yourself busy...and ofcouse this will help you more.....IF YOU COULD GET A SECOND JOB..atleast you earn extra...at the same time your avoiding yourself to think of him more...but make sure dont get a boring job...this will drive u crazy...good luck
Thanks for your advice. Yeah, maybe guys are really losers when comes to multi-tasking. But I miss him a lot. Driving me nuts. I'm already drowning myself with work and alcohol (lots of it after working hours). At times, I just felt so mad at him for treating me this way (so unfair to me), I felt like a fool and swear that I won't want to hear from him again. But deep down inside, I want him back. I hate this mixed feelings. Maybe he IS making this break up worse by texting me. But secretly, I find myself waiting for his call or text messages.
I have another guy friend who's treating me well. He's always here for me when I'm feeling down. Sometimes i just felt like jumping into a new relationship with this guy just to forget my ex. Maybe it would be easier for me to let go this way. The only problem is, this guy friend of mine is married. And he's initiating it (to start the relationship anyway) because his wife doesn't care about him at all. So I was thinking... why not? It's a mutual thing right? I mean... he needs the attention and companionship from me and I need someone who cares for me and mend my broken heart.
What do you think?
Oh no....Married = Unavailable - no matter what his specific relationship situation is, until he's divorced, he's off limits. If not you tell the world, the universe, that cheating is ok.
Just because you need comfort, don't go there.
As for your ex, he's showing you exactly how he reacts in a crisis. Instead of accepting your love and support, he breaks up with you. The text messages are because he does feel regret, he's contacting you in a safe way (meaning he doesn't have to be emotionally invested or follow through).
Carrie
I think your setting yourself up for more heartache. Give yourself time to heal. I feel right now your emotions are all over the place. And if you did go with this married guy and the ex wanted you back , What would you do then? Give yourself some time. You heart will heal. The other way is not the way to go in my opinion.
you know what to be honest i cant blame you if you think this way....cuz i do too sometimes...LOL
but be very careful as long that you dont end up being heart broken again...or either if this guy choice you over his wife...2 THUMPS UP!!!
actually you know your exbf better than i do...if you think...IF EVER he find out that your dating other guy...do you think this will lead him to run back to you??? or either this will lead him to totally forget about you.....coz this is all depend on the person just like my first love before everytime we broke up...i start dating other guy(but no sex)...when he find out he run back to me and i break up with the other guy....it happen several times in just like are routine in our relationship....until i finally cut it off. to be honest i get KARMA!!! now all the guy i met and dating makes me cry....waaaaahhhh!!!
my relationship always end and if they come back for me ask me to marry me...my feeling is not there anymore...it never been mutual.
anyways everyone is diff....so fOllow your gut and I REALLY WISH YOU LUCK!!!