Why is it so hard to end it?
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Why is it so hard to end it?
| Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:49am |
I've been in a relationship with BF for four years -- we don't live together. Prior to him I was married for 16 years to a man with bi-polar disorder. Ex-H had fidelity issues, financial issues, mental health issues -- you name it. BF is hard-working, ambitious, fun, but also verbally abusive with a hot temper. Recently discovered he's had profiles on 6 different adult dating sites and he's emailed a couple of people. No follow-up on the emails. Just one email each to one person. But this whole dating site/email thing, I thought, pushed me over the edge. I know he's not good for me. My best girlfriend asked me to name two people in my life who supported me staying with him and I couldn't do it. After four years, I can count on one hand the number of times he's said "I love you" or complimented me. I've helped him with tons of his work (he is self-employed with several businesses), but he's never helped me with anything. I know this is not healthy. I know I can do better. So why can't I make the final break? What is wrong with me that I can't definitively and finally tell him that it's over?

Because you've been together a long time. Because change is hard. Because you don't want to admit to yourself and the world that another relationship of yours has failed. Because you don't want to be alone. Because you hope he'll change.
There are SO many reasons why it's hard to leave. If you're really having trouble making the final break, I think some short-term counseling could really help you reach your decision and stick to it.
Sheri
I'm gonna go one different:
GOOD Luck,
Alexi
Tigerlily --
lol -- I tried that, but didn't want to pay to subscribe, and he doesn't have any paid subscriptions so he can't access mail that he gets from people. One of the sites allowed women to email men without a paid subscription, but the men can't access the email unless they pay. Kind've a scam IMHO. On that one, I did send him an email and I saw that he was notified that (this is funny) BustU had sent him a message, but I tried to get in to see my own message (using his password) and couldn't do it. So, truly I know he's not been communicating with anyone. I tried to communicate with him on the sites and couldn't do it.
I was talking to my ex-husband about the whole thing last night -- he was nice about it. He said, from a man's perspective, it's like cyber-masturbating to have sites up with no access. He took BF's side. I suppose that shouldn't be a huge surpise.