Why is it so hard even when it is right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Why is it so hard even when it is right?
3
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 9:05pm

I have faithfully been visiting this board for the past couple months and it has helped so much because I realize I am not the only one suffering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 10:44pm

Welcome to the board rerect123,


It's hard even when it's right because you still have grief to process..... for what might have been, for what could have been, for what you hoped would have been.


Other things to read, if you haven't already:


Relationship Grieving Process - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=22985.1


Zen of Doing Nothing - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21173.1


For the future:


Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis


This part:

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 9:55am

Thank you for your words of encouragement and the recommendations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 12:07pm

While he may look like he's moved on, it could be rebound, it could be denial.... don't compare your progress with is.


Pinky posted this ages on the board and I saved it:


Think of your relationship like a big house that has been demolished. What do you do next? You can't live in the house any more! So you decide to clear up the mess (emotion), brick by brick, it takes a bit of time, but you liked living in that big house so you guess it's worth the effort. Then there's a big hole in the ground that needs to be filled up again. You start this process by making new friends who are happy to help you rebuild your new big house, so it's bigger and better than it was before.


Your ex has decided that he's going to build on top of all the rubble (denial), he/she can't be bothered to take time out to clear up all the mess. So off he/she goes, building on top of the old house. He/She acknowledges that the structure is a little wobbly but he/she says that it will do for him right now.


The storm hits. Guess whose house is still standing?


Your house is built on a solid foundation. His/Her house is a big fake "paper house", yours a big strong stone structure. Now tell me who's going to have the better future? It's up to you to decide.