Why won't he go away??
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| Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:47pm |
I posted this elsewhere also, but I thought I might have some luck here too. Thanks in advance!
My boyfriend of just about three years and I recently called it quits. It's very difficult for me seeing that he was the one who didn't want to be together anymore. I started no contact explaining to him that it was too difficult for me to watch him move on with his life while I was in too much pain. After that I received text messages at least once a day saying that he missed and he just really wanted to talk. Well after about a week I gave in and told him that he could come over to talk. I guess I thought that he would want me back but I was wrong. He came over and was holding me and telling me that he loved me and that he missed me so much but he just wanted to be friends. What sense does that make? I really don't understand what's going on in his head. He says he doesn't want to date anyone else, that he just wants to be single, but he doesn't want me out of his life. I really don't know what to do. If you don't want to be with someone you leave right? Why would he continue to tell me that he loves me if he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend? Please someone help me make sense of this all. Thank you!

My guess is that he either doesn't want to be seen as the 'bad guy' and if you are willing to be his friend, then he can't be all that bad, right? Or he doesn't care how you feel. I mean you have told him it's too painful, but he still texts you and and tells you all these things.
You are going to have to be the one that sets the boundaries and sticks to them. If you need No Contact, then don't give in. Ignore the messages. And move forward with your healing. Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
You ex is a complete coward. He wanted this break-up but he wants to keep you around probably to ease his guilt (and it sounds like he has quite a lot), and to have a safety net just in case it turns out the grass isn't greener.
Cut him off completely. You need to do what is best for you and his bouncing you around is not good for you. And enough his whole I want to be friends crap: if he no longer wants you as his girfriend then he is not good enough to be your friend. The only case where it is possible to remain friends after a split is when the split was completely amicable.
You deserve better than this idiot.