why wont my ex leave me alone??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
why wont my ex leave me alone??
15
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 9:00am
Hi,
Just wondering if anyone can shed some light on my situation, I broke up with my ex 61/2 months ago their is some debate who ended our 4 year relationship he started the process I finished it kicked him out got the key back, he has continuously put the blame on himself - he is no good I deserve better, he treated me like s**t, took me for granted, took advantage, liked being a kept man, he is not the one for me etc all his words.

The whole relationship was alot of effort on my behalf and not much on his although he put alot into lying about another woman from 3 years ago, drinking, spending my money and making me feel like crap!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 12:00pm

Welcome to the board gina7789,


See if page 9 of this helps:


How to Get Over Your Breakup - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21181.1


::all the time looking in, coughing, whistling, jangling money outside my room


All that screams of 'look at me, look at me, pay attention to me'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 2:41pm

That makes sense the getting attention, but the not wanting to be the bad guy is a bit confusing as I have asked him to stay away for my health and him staying away would be the good guy thing to do! or paying me back!


What does he want from me? does he still want me! does he want to reconcile?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 3:15pm

I would ask , what do you want? A lot depends on this.It seems as if he is trying to find the same from you.Its not always easy to move on and sometimes not even the right decision!

If you still love him,let him know.if you are done with him,nothing should bother you.if his one act bothers you ( bothers in the sense that it reminds you of something and touches that spot in your heart,tough to explain !),then in my opinion, you still feel for him.take an answer for yourself from your heart and then act accordingly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 3:26pm

Sweetie, you are running amok but I will indulge you....


If he leaves you alone as you requested, then he won't get the attention. The attention is the most important thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 3:59pm

"do not read into his actions."

I find this ironic.I believed ," actions speak much louder than words"! and i still believe in it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 4:04pm
Actions usually do speak louder than words, the problem is when we try to interpret them without a common frame of reference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:33pm

Thankyou for

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 1:55pm

Hi


Just a quick update I went to work with the zen of ignoring in mind and did a fantastic job and must of looked like I had the world at my feet I was bubbly happy and to be honest didn't let him get to me didn't feel so sick as I did and stopped looking petrified everytime the doors went from his dept just ignored them so felt great and what do I get in return he upped the anti he he came into my room while I was working walked about played with kit, then went into my room again when I was outside the door chatting with my boss and was hanging around as usual so I did my best with all the advise in mind and I hope it will get better even though he is getting worse?!


At least I have the zen to refer to I have printed it out and will read it every time I need to I just hope he gets bored soon as I have patients to look after and it is a distraction with him trying to get my attention and staring at me but I made sure I didn't look at him or let him catch my eye he looked pissed off though as he walked out which was nice :-) who's the daddy now!! hmmm hollow victory :-?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 2:05pm
Oh not a hollow victory in my opinion. GOOD JOB. Of course he's gotten worse, now he thinks he has to work twice has hard and be twice as annoying to get your attention.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2008
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 1:37pm

Hi me once again,


I feel I should air my stupidity to a public forum as I cannot keep

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