whyy did i kiss him?
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 10-11-2007 - 12:06pm |
i just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years 3 days ago. this whole month i've been contemplating leaving him, basically this whole month has been a drunken depressing haze.
last night, this friend gave me a call and wanted to take me out. i said yes and we went back to his place and got drunk in the spa...and did a lot of making out and touching.
doing that made me miss my ex so much. it made me miss his perfect lips and the way he touched me. made me miss his eyes and laying on his chest. i was working on getting over that, i was getting to the point where i could spend an entire day happy, for the most part. until last night. i am not in love with my ex, we broke up for very reasonable reasons.
ugh! someone advised me to go kiss guys and go on dates, but all of that is making me feel more empty than i have ever felt before. this is what happened back in june. i started going out with the guy during this one month my ex and i separated. after spending so much time with my friend...i got all depressed and ran back into my ex's arms, more like catapulted myself...anyway, i've made a mess of things =[ yet again

yeah, i hear ya. rebounds are flattering to the ego & that's about it.
they always remind me of my ex too & make me miss him even worse. ugh.
Your story sounds very familiar to me. My ex and I ended things about 2 1/2 months ago after 2+ years. He initiated the break up, but it was very much something that needed to be done, and it was a mutual agreement that things weren't getting any better. In fact, I broke up with him back in February, briefly dated a coworker I'd had a crush on, and when reality set in that I was "starting over" in the relationship world, I bailed and went back to my ex.
Obviously, that was a dumb idea because that just wasted an additional 6 months of my life clinging to something that was just wrong to begin with. Now, to make matters worse, I'm stuck with all the breakup blues while he immediately found "replacement girl"... much like how I did when he and I broke up in February. Guess what goes around comes around, huh? He loved to sing that song... I took it as an omen.
After the breakup, an old guy friend asked me out for drinks. I took it as a "friends only" venting session, but he ended up kissing me and telling me that he's always had a big crush... blah blah. In a state like that? What to do? Well... you guessed it, I kissed back. I KNEW I wasn't interested in him! But eh... I just avoided him after the incident, and I guess things went back to normal. I worry sometimes because he's also friends with my ex, and I don't want it getting out that I kissed the guy... but I guess there's nothing I can do about that.
Sorry I'm being a Negative Nelly though. I just wanted to write and tell you that it'll all blow over. Coming from someone who's been in the same situation. You're SO much better off not being in that relationship with the ex. You knew it all along, right? Just stick with the breakup this time, and avoid speaking to him. Everything will get so much better real soon. You'll see. Being single is kinda awesome- you get to spend ALL your time taking care of yourself instead of making sure you have enough time in your day to be the perfect girlfriend... forcing something that wasn't meant to be.
Shortly after my kissing incident, I met a guy who enjoys taking me on dates... and I actually LIKE kissing him back. Also, I competed in my first triathlon! Wow! Really, just relax, take it like a pro, and move on a better person. You'll be glad you did.
I heard someone say the other day, "When I think about how I want other people to view me after the breakup, I would rather take it like Jennifer Anniston than Britney Spears."
Hi earthenangel,
You are good.
Alright then, my turn ;)
Let's call this episode in your life "what not to do" and just know this kind of thing doesn't work for you.
do i D.A.R.E. to keep off of the man drug? Indeed I DO!!!!!! Wow that's a great thing to say , "I do" too!
Thanks!!! xxxxoooo